Moving Peaces - Page 16 of 46 - Moving Pieces. Moving Places. Moving Peacefully.

Guest Post: What It Took

October 11, 2014Samantha Gratton

Samantha’s Note: Writing for 31 days is a great challenge, but one I quickly realized I couldn’t keep. I had more than one dream and area of focus that needed my attention this month. I found myself with too much to do and realized there was some rearranging to do. Thankfully, within the blogging community there were more than a few people ready and willing to help, and I’m so glad to have a few guests posts now throughout the month. Finding self isn’t about just me. We all have a story to tell and hearing from others can help us with our own. Today’s post is by Natalie, and she’s got a great perspective to share.

I think we will find ourselves over and over again throughout life. New parts of ourselves, hidden parts of ourselves, sometimes painful parts of ourselves.

The most significant transformation I’ve seen in myself brought out a new, hidden, painful part of me. It happened like this.

A few weeks after graduating from college, I packed up to fly over an ocean to live in a small house with seven other adults and twenty small babies. Each day, I did my best to give those little babies all I could. Downtime was infrequent, and trips to town were rare. I got poop on my hands more than a few times.

But it was a sweet time God used to confirm my belief that four years of journalism were going to be used, for sure, but social work — orphan care, foster care, adoption — was where He really wanted me. I felt like I had hit my stride. I poured out every inch of me to love and serve that summer. And I’m so thankful for that stride-hitting and confirmation-feeling, because the next few months were hard.

I came home after eight weeks and promptly moved to a new city for grad school. I knew no one. Not even my roommate. All the friends and streets and favorite spots of familiar Iowa were far away. I no longer had the physical closeness of friends with whom I had gone to middle school, high school, and college. I no longer had my familiar routines I played out for four years in a little college town in the middle of Iowa.

I started a social work graduate program. And I have to tell you, God felt distant. I struggled to find my groove in all the areas — church, friendships, and school. But He wasn’t distant by His own doing. The only times He is distant on our journey to find ourselves is when we let Him be distant.

He was there. He pursued me. And through His closeness, I felt comfortable to pursue a deeper faith, good friends, and all these new passions. I found a great church community, I found my niche in the social work program, and I found my husband.

So, what did it take to find those parts of myself I discovered in 2010? It took the removal of all that was familiar and the realization of a God who was always there freeing me to be shaped into this me.

Natalie is a part-time social worker and waiting adoptive mama. She lives with her husband and dog in Indianapolis, and she blogs about adoption, foster care, faith, marriage, and home at little things + big stuff.

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October. To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

That Thing You Do

October 10, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

There’s a reason I don’t usually blog on Fridays. By the end of the week, the last thing I want is to be tied down to something I have to do or manage. No one needs chores on a Friday. I’d rather sit on the porch to watch the rain or finally catch up on some reading or just have a good long conversation with my husband.

But I thought you loved writing? Oh, I do.

The thing is, we have different priorities and different interests. Just because I love writing doesn’t mean I always want to do it. Sometimes I have to force myself into keeping up with the discipline but other times, it’s worth pursuing another facet of my life.

I think it’s easy to get caught up in thinking “this is my THING!” and therefore pour all of ourselves into it. There’s a time and a place for that…but it’s not all the time and all the places.

Having a “thing” we do, whether it’s running a business or writing a book or playing music or climbing the corporate ladder or chasing a dream is not bad. But when it becomes our only thing, other areas in our life suffers. I’ve met so many incredibly talented musicians and painters and start-up company owners and otherwise who are crazy successful in their respective fields. But past that one thing, maybe their relationships with others are severely strained–be it in their marriage, with their children or with former friends. Or they find themselves with incredible debt because they became so focused or infatuated with a dream that they neglected to realize its cost. Or their health and mental/spiritual/physical well-being were simply out of control. Life was too far off balance.

They felt justified because someone was saying, follow your dreams with all your heart. But they misunderstood and followed only one dream without stopping to consider the consequences that one dream would have on all of the other ones.

So if you find yourself buried too deep into one thing, stop for a minute. Take a breath and take a look around. Is this really where you want to be going? Where is this ultimately going?

I’m constantly having to check myself to see where I’m actually putting my time, energy and resources to see where it leads. Sometimes it seems to be in the right direction and other times, it’s clear that it is completely out of line with who I want to be.

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Thursday Three

October 9, 2014October 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

Regardless of any blogging challenge, the Thursday Three is ingrained in my brain. Speaking of things ingrained in the brain…according to my book on tape (aka audiobook) if you rhyme a statement, people seem to think there is more truth in it than a statement that means the very same thing but doesn’t rhyme. Crazy, eh?

1. Sometimes we all need to get away. Last weekend at the mountains was a great way to do that. We hiked a mountain, walked around town, ate some BBQ and stumbled across a small wine festival. All in all, a good time.

2. Sometimes we fall apart. Appearances aside, we all struggle with something. No one is perfect. No one has it all figured out. The more we compare ourselves to others, more more lies we convince ourselves of. So let’s just take that idyllic little trip to the mountains and add a bit of “life feeling like a lot.” There you have it. Reality.

3. Sometimes we need a night off. This week has been just as full as always, but sometimes we need a night in our ~~ugly~~ comfy clothes and the blogging is simply short and sweet.

Big

October 8, 2014Samantha Gratton

In the bustle and flurry of all that is happening, sometimes it’s easy to drown out the big. The big truths, big values, big goals. To be honest, sometimes I’m glad for it. I don’t want to be stuck with quiet and big thoughts looming. Those big things can lead to huge life change or coping with hurts I don’t know how to handle.

While being too busy can overwhelm me, being without enough to do often scares me more.

So then I fill my plate back up again. I ignore the signs that tell me to slow down. To rest. To realize when I’m taking on more than I need to without good reason. Then I’m running (figuratively speaking…I hate actual running) nonstop so that by the time I crawl into bed at night I’m too exhausted to think. Instead of finding self, I’m practically avoiding it.

The world is not about me. My own life isn’t even totally about me. Finding self is not supposed to be a selfish endeavor. I’m not trying to encourage a “me, me, me” culture. But knowing who you are is a starting point. You need to know your downfalls as well as your strengths. It helps you to understand why you do the things you do and why you react to certain things and how to take care of yourself.

As much as I sometimes try to avoid it, wrestling with thoughts and struggles has a certain value to it. It’s how you learn and grow. It’s when you resolve the inner turmoil that’s building and spilling out into your everyday life. It’s then that you realize you can’t do it all. You need the community of people around you. And it’s most when I realize I need God to get me through this life.

Find the time to work through these questions and thoughts and truths. Because these big things matter.

Being Enough

October 7, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

Not enough.

How often do we hear that phrase and don’t even realize it? Or worse, how often do we say that to someone else?

Not enough experience or not enough enthusiasm. Not enough knowledge or not enough confidence. Not enough wisdom or not enough motivation. Not enough practice or not enough raw talent. Not enough.

All day long we hear that in some form or another from society–from our job applications, from our teachers, from our bosses, from our family and even from our friends. You’re not enough…this.

When we feel like we are not enough we seek more. We try to do, be and possess MORE. A never ending chase results in us grasping for more so we can finally feel enough. Over time it leaves us feeling worn down and exhausted. We can’t keep up with the rate that more requires, which in turn leads us to feeling once again, not enough. Not enough time, not enough strength, not enough stamina.

But wait a minute. Listen.

How often are we actually told we are not enough compared to how often we reinforce it and decide to believe it? Is it truth? Further, is it even what is being said? Or do we assign ourselves this label of not enough before we hear what we’re being told? When we allow this battle of not being enough to win, we always lose. If you want to play that game, there will always be something in our lives that feels like not enough.

So stop allowing not enough to dictate who you are.

You are enough. Right now. In this very moment. You are complete. Rest in that.

__________________________________________________________

If you need to hear more truth, this is where to find it:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” -Psalm 139:14

^“And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” – Ecclesiastes 4:4

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Mountain Talk

October 6, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

I don’t often sit still. If I am sitting still, it’s usually with a computer on my lap (and no less than six tabs open), some laundry running and a conversation happening all at once. I’m not the type that can just sit on the porch and ponder. I’ll read a book or maybe bring a notebook to jot down some form of a list…I think you get the idea.

Sometimes the lists and the planning and the thoughts all need to just slow down. We need to get to the place were we can just be without being someone or doing something. We need to simply exist and know that we still matter without all the extra stuff floating through our minds.

Over the weekend we hiked several miles up and down a mountain. As we hiked the first mile, we chatted about goals and plans for the future, despite running out of breath with the ever-increasing altitude. By the second mile we talked about the views we were seeing and what we would eat for dinner later that night. As we hiked and climbed higher, we didn’t focus on anything but just getting there. We were only hikers then.

If you encounter other hikers on the trail, no one asks what your day job is. Seldom do people ask where you’re from. Never do they ask what you do in your free time or if you’ve seen the latest blockbuster. No one knows if you make a lot of money or if you volunteer regularly in the community.

There’s only one thing on their minds, too. The hike. Are we close? Does it get harder? Isn’t it a great view?

And as we got higher and then later descended, there was only one thing we could focus on. We could only take each step in front of us. It didn’t matter in that moment who we were. We just had to keep going.

Sometimes in the journey to finding self, we need to stop thinking about ourselves. Stop thinking about the stuff going on or the possibilities. We get to be another human in the hike of life and just take a step at a time.

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

People and Titles

October 5, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

We are all people. People who have lives outside of our day jobs and interests that go beyond data entry. Why is it that when you are a kid the common question is “What do you like to do?” but later in life that changes to “What do you do?”

As kids we could be soccer players or artists or rock stars. Sure, we spent eight hours of our day in school but no one considered that to be our primary focus. If all we did was school, we were probably pretty boring little dudes. Why has that stopped? Why does a job have to feel like your primary purpose and lot in life? Shouldn’t our lives be made for something more?

I want to dream and create and live my life. So don’t put me in a box that only goes as far as my job title. Because I am a writer. A reader. A creative thinker. A traveler and explorer. Don’t shove those attributes under the rug. Because if those fade, a part of me does, too. And then you’re stuck with a pretty boring little lady.

My life was made for more than a few titles and so was yours.

Does this post sound familiar? I’ll be honest, this was a recycled post from back in the day when my blog had a few faithful followers. It seemed to fit with this series, especially the most recent post, so I thought I would add it in here. If it’s new to you, then super. If not, hopefully it served as good reminder like it did for me.

Hi, I’m…

October 3, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

It’s strange to think that you live your whole life as you but then sometimes have a hard time knowing just what that means.

When I was little, video cameras were an odd concept to me. My six-year-old self had some strange notion that the video was almost like a time capsule of life to show to the future world. Strangers would be watching it and wonder who this cute little girl on the screen was. Because of this, every time I was on camera I would always start with, “Hi, I’m Samantha!”

Right then and there I was saying, “Hi, I’m me” and it was as simple as could be. I was introducing myself to the world and that’s what they needed to know.

Since then, it’s as if the more we “do” the less we understand who we are. We go to networking events and struggle to explain to people who we are and immediately turn to what we do at work. We try to find more things that “add up” to who we are. If I do this, plus this, plus a hobby or two and the way I wear my hair, that equals me.

I want to know when that changed. Why growing up took away our self-assurance in who we were.

My theory? We knew who we were as kids because we weren’t as focused on what we were not. We didn’t question ourselves as much or compare our individuality with our playground friends. We didn’t say, “Well, I’m not a real (writer, musician, artist, inventor, entrepreneur, athlete fill in the blank here) until I do this. We may have been jealous of a toy someone else owned, but we didn’t worry about who we were. We just knew. I’m me.

Four Years

October 2, 2014October 2, 2014Samantha Gratton

Four years ago today, we were wed on a perfect October day.

I know I just started a new series, but today is a very special day. I plan to blog more about “finding self”, so you might think that it would be all about me and my life this month. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. My husband has helped me see and understand things about myself that I lacked the confidence to realize on my own. My failures and shortcomings, my potential and capabilities. One of the biggest defining things in my life is that I am his wife. It’s part of who I am now and will always be. During the past four years of marriage I’ve learned more than I would have ever imagined. I’ve learned how hard it is to love, how easy it is to fight, how important it is to communicate and how much we need each other to make it through life.

Finding Self, An Introduction

October 1, 2014October 2, 2014Samantha Gratton

In the month of October I’ll be writing all about Finding Self: what makes us who we are and what that means. There’s a blogging challenge called 31 Days which encourages bloggers to write every day for the month of October all around one topic area. I hemmed and hawed (gosh, I sound like an old lady) for quite some time before deciding that this was my topic. In fact, I had a few other topics all picked out but changed it in the last hour (literally).

I want to write about learning, discovering, understanding and embracing who we are. There’s something about understanding who you are, regardless of where you are or what you’re doing, that allows you to be free. When you aren’t bogged down by extra things, you figure out what’s actually there. Who you are when no one is around and there are no expectations. What defines you and who you dream to be.

I have a short list of things I know I’ll write about but a long list of unknowns this month. My hope is to see the good in it all, to help us find truth in a sea of second-guessing and self doubt. Because I’m seeking and struggling through it, too. Who we are isn’t where we live or what we do. It isn’t something we said ten years ago and isn’t what we ate for lunch. While we may be associated with a great host of things, we are truly defined by only a few. So what does that leave?

The next 31 days, that’s what we’ll find out.