Recap & Reflection

Recap & Reflection

For those of you who have been asking how the event went, here’s a quick summary. From my perspective, it could not have been better! This is something I have been working on and praying about for months. Yes, months. But I think it was worth it.

Women's Event | Moving Peaces

For those of you who weren’t yet aware, I coordinated this year’s women’s event/retreat at our church. After hearing so many good things about the IF:Gathering, I thought it might be nice to host it ourselves, albeit a bit later than the rest of the world who participated in the live simulcast. IF asks the question, “If God is real, then what?” There were speakers like Jennie Allen, Christine Caine, Jen Hatmaker, Bianca Olthoff, Rebekah Lyons and Ann Voskamp, and they all had incredibly strong messages to share with women.

Speaker - Jen Hatmaker | Moving Peaces

As I shared earlier, I had a few dreams for what a women’s event could one day look like. When I learned about IF, I found they had carried out so many similar dreams and was struck by it.

IF Table | Moving Peaces

When it comes right down to it, there are amazing women out in the world. They are doing big things and they are doing small things, but they all matter. One of the things I wanted, was to bring the amazing women in our church all under one roof so we could learn from each other and build lasting relationships. So we could learn what it meant to live a life for God.

I’m so glad this weekend was about that.

Emcee | Moving Peaces

 

I had the unique pleasure of not only coordinating the event, but also being the emcee as we transitioned from different sessions. I almost never knew 100% of what I was about to say before I said it, which was completely unnerving but it basically meant I was praying for the words the whole way through.

Lunch Outside | Moving Peaces

We got to hang out together and chat Friday night at the bonfire, eat lunch on a gorgeous sunny Saturday under tents on the lawn and talk to each other around the table all weekend long. A few women shared and we really just had time to enjoy each other’s company.

Women from Church | Moving Peaces

IF Gathering Event | Moving Peaces

Guest Post: Serving Others

Samantha’s Note: Recently, I realized I could not blog a whole month on my own. Especially not this month which was full of side projects, events, freelance work and job searching. Because of this, I invited a few others to join me in talking about Finding Self to hear what they had to say about it. Neive (isn’t that the coolest name ever?) is a part of a blogging group I belong to and volunteered to write all about how serving others through her faith has helped in finding self. I should also mention that she has the cutest brood of dogs at home and lives in Australia! You might notice a thing or two spelled a little differently, so just go ahead and read it in an Australian accent to get the full experience.

My name is Neive and I blog over at “The Aussie Osborns”. I am so excited to be a part of Samantha’s series “Finding Self”, what a wonderful topic! There are so many different ways that we can find ourselves, but what better way to do it then by bringing light into someone’s life at the same time! Thank you so much Samantha for allowing me to be a guest on your blog, I am honoured.

Find yourself by serving others

Some of you may know the famous quote by Gandhi “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”, which really rings true to my heart. There have been many times within my life where I have engaged in service and found myself. I’m not talking about some massive epiphany, but characteristics I maybe though I didn’t have or didn’t associate myself with.

That’s not to say that I always throw myself at these opportunities every moment of the day, life is so busy and complicated sometimes it’s hard to find the time to give service to others, but there is always a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment and emotional reward after – for everyone involved. Not to mention how the Lord knows us, he knows the true intention of our hearts and what will make us happy. I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first (Rev 2:19)

I’m not talking about full blown “make sure you go and clean the next door neighbour’s gutters” kind of service (although you are welcome to do that and I’m sure they will appreciate it). I’m talking about little simple acts things each day, some things that you probably already do. Without realising it we can help serve others in so many ways. Everybody can be great…because everybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” (Martin Luther King Jr.)

 

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Deciding for You

Do you remember the first big decision you made, completely on your own? There’s something amazing that happens when you make a decision completely separate from your parents (but not in a rebellious way) or friends or other influences. A true transition happens when you say, this is important to me and no longer factor in the other opinions. This is of value to me. This decision will impact my life for years to come.

For many it might happen in college, whether it’s choosing a college, choosing a major, choosing to move, deciding to travel, accepting a job or meeting a future spouse. While college may be a typical timeframe that occurs in, college does not deserve all the credit and glory. Often, it has more to do with the time in life and the first real time of distance from parents or even from friends who otherwise heavily influence your decisions. This most certainly does not only occur within a college setting or even in your late teens and early twenties. Maybe you grew up too fast or were a late bloomer. Either way, it happens at some point or another and is a significant moment, whether you realize it at the time or not.

I believe it’s worthwhile to consider that decision. What was it? What did it say about who you were? How did it impact your life? Whatever it was, it was a coming of age. What did that say about you then and how has it shaped you now?

 

31 Days: Finding Self | Moving PeacesThis post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Guest Post: Family and Self

Guest Post: Family and Self

Samantha’s note: This is the big weekend for the women’s event which has been awesome so far. Because of this among other things, I knew I needed some people to help write some of this month’s posts. I am SO glad I had a reason to ask for some guest posts as I am loving the depth that they bring. Emily is a friend of mine from the Midwest who shares some of the real in her life and while hard, it’s beautiful. I love her writing style and think you will, too. She asks all the questions and sorts through all the thoughts and feelings many of us have but don’t all want to own up to. I wish we lived closer but for now, we’ll have to settle for swapping stories on one another’s blogs.

 

Before sitting down the write this post, I questioned my authority on finding self, and if I have the right, as an unemployed, confused 25-year-old to shed light on something so profound and deep as self. Before we go any further I should confess something—I’m not sure I’ve actually found myself yet.

Guest Post by Emily | Moving Peaces

I come from a long line of selves built in chaos, in quicksand. My family is no stranger to tragedy—my mother suffered through two funerals (her sister’s and her father’s) during her pregnancy with me—we take emotional blows like seasoned boxers. We roll back our shoulders, and stand up for more hits. My own parents are both deceased. I lost my father in a plane crash when I was thirteen, and my mother to melanoma three years ago. Self has always confused me, a concept that begs to be concrete in my quicksand world. Is my self the girl with parents? Is she some alternate path I wasn’t allowed to take, some unreachable, whole person? Is she who I am supposed to be if (insert tragedy here) didn’t happen?

If you’ve experienced any kind of loss, you know one of its painful truths—it finds new ways to surprise you. Whether it’s hearing an old song that reminds you of them, seeing a car pulled over and for a fleeting moment needing to know they’re ok, or wanting to share new experiences with your loved one and realizing that they won’t pick up when you call; loss and sorrow seem to always reinvent themselves in small ways.

For me, I never anticipated the terror of becoming an adult on my own. I never expected to think, three years after losing my mother, that I should call her to ask how long to bake a potato. To need her to tell me that job hunting is difficult, but that there is some merit in trying, and that I am worthwhile. I never thought about the strange mourning that comes in realizing you will never experience your parents as peers, as equals. How strange it is to look through old photos of my parents, grinning in the way that 20-somethings do when friends snap their pictures—as though the whole world is at their feet. The unfairness of growing up, of realizing who I am and who I want to be, I can never share with them.

Emily's Parents | Moving Peaces

I say I don’t know if I’ve found self yet because I haven’t quite had it affirmed. I am a set of trials and errors, missteps and mistakes, and miles of backtracking. I am blessed to have grown my self through the help of remarkable friends, and the outpouring of love from my extended family. My three best friends are my siblings, and I am so lucky to have their guidance and support in my life. Despite feeling partial and broken, these people have filled in the gaps, pressing themselves into my growth like sunshine. My confidence (albeit not 100%, but strong) in this self I have built is their gift to me, and it is their love that helps it to grow.

I am not confident I have found self yet. I cannot help but look back on my life without the “what ifs.” What if I had time with my mother to apologize? What if I had time with my father to discover our views (conflicting or complimentary, I don’t know) on gender, and race, and sexuality? Would I be a more whole self? Would I feel more confident in this girl? Or is the pressing forward, the pursuit of wholeness still worthwhile? Is the striving I do to find my adult self, my future self, my multifaceted me still noble? Will I ever feel like I have truly found her?

I have not found myself yet. I don’t know if I will ever be confident enough to say I have found her, become her, until the end of the line. But the decisions that I make along the way, the actions that must feed the act of becoming her, are my focus now. I have not found self yet, but I am content in the maze. I am content in the pursuit of discovering her, of chasing her through the storms.

 

Emily Coleman | Moving Peaces

Emily is a blogger and video blogger based in Minneapolis, MN. She currently runs the blog Staving Off Disaster, where she admits to the embarrassments and mistakes of attempting adulthood. In her free time she pretends she’s a novelist, and trolls the “writing jobs” section of monster.com.

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October. To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

One of these things…

There are parts of my life that don’t seem to line up. Like, I’m not quite hip enough for all the shows I go to. Or don’t have kids hanging off my arms like most of the other women at church. Or I don’t look old enough to do the things I am capable of at work. Or maybe I’m not musical enough for what people expect in relation to my incredibly musically inclined husband.

It seems like I’m never quite what “they” wanted. Sometimes I want to shout in return saying, “I DON’T FIT IN HERE! I KNOW IT JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO!” Yes, I get it, thanks. Because trust me, I feel even more awkward about it than you do. It feels as if my life is hanging in the balances, tinkering on the edge of total discord and absurdity.

So maybe we don’t have the same amount of money, number of kids, personal beliefs, musical talents, magnitude of eye makeup, years of experience or extensive vocabulary. No matter where I turn, I don’t seem to be matching everyone else there in some major life area. As uncomfortable as that can sometimes (often) be, I think there’s something incredibly valuable in it, too. Because instead of continuing on our own little paths, we get to learn from each other and grow from each other. That can’t happen if we all look, talk, act and think the same way. So maybe it will take a little more effort to bridge the gap. Maybe we’ll have to take those differences in stride and assume the best of each other. I’d much rather live amongst a crowd of differences than live a life removed from those who have different experiences and understandings than my own.

Sound familiar? Well, to be honest, this is a recycled post because I ran out of time to blog today and this seemed like it suited the topic fairly well. Being caught in the awkward stage and feeling like I don’t belong or fit in with others is not easy. But it has been in these moments that I have learned the most, both about others and about myself.

31 Days: Finding Self | Moving PeacesThis post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Thursday Three

Thursday Three | Moving Peaces

Ready for the shortest and most random Thursday Three of all time? Okay great. Also, that photo has nothing to do with this post as it was from our hike a few weeks ago, so don’t read into it.

1. This week has been busy. I’m ready for life to be a little less busy as I don’t wear that term like a badge of honor. Lots of good types of busy things, but too busy nonetheless. If you feel too busy, let me encourage you to also try to be less busy, not more.

2. Always keep a blanket in your car. I got completely caught in the rain this week so I did the only logical thing, took of my shoes and ran through the puddles before jumping into my car. Having a random blanket to dry off with was a glorious thing.

3. There is so much beauty in this world. I’ve recently had to drive a lot for work and I can’t help but look in awe at the clouds and the trees and the great big patch of sunflowers off the side of the highway.

 

Misrepresented

One thing I fear almost as much not being myself is misrepresenting myself.

Do you ever say something and then immediately realize it in no way reflects what you were trying to say or who you are? You reach for the words and try to stuff them back in. Or what you said completely confuses the other person and they think you said the exact opposite of what you were trying to say. Or you are having a bad day the first time you meet someone and you walk away thinking, “Wow, they’ll never want to see me again.” Or worse, you bring up a valid point but the manner you do it in sets the other person off and all you want to say is, “Wait, wait! That’s not what I meant by that!”

I hate being misrepresented. If I feel it has happened I have the unfortunate tendency of fretting for hours about what that person must be thinking about me. I try relentlessly to correct the error, be it by telling the person a few more times what I was trying to say/do/mean by that or by obsessively running it over and over in my mind doing it differently each time.

There’s a weight behind the things we say and do. It reflects on us. On our families. On our friends. On our faith. And I just don’t ever want to mess that up. So if I ever come back to you and say, “No, no, wait! Let me try this again!” that’s why. I think our tendencies as humans is to react quickly (I am definitely one of those humans), but it’s worth giving people grace and benefit of the doubt. If I’m asking others to be understanding when I come back and ask for grace, I want to offer the same.

We all have bad days, say dumb things and misunderstand each other from time to time. Let’s learn to love each other and give grace in the process.

31 Days: Finding Self | Moving PeacesThis post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Why We Fit

Why We Fit

When the hubby and I first started dating (over seven years ago…whoa!) not everyone understood it. Our close friends thought it made perfect sense as they had watched us become friends and flirt, pursue our dreams and decide to date. They saw how we reacted to different situations, together and apart.

Why We Fit | Moving Peaces

At the time, his family and band lived a few hours away. They didn’t watch this natural progression nor did they have any idea of who I was. So when they met me, they were puzzled. Her?

I got so many questions as they tried to get to know me and understand why he wanted to date me. What instrument did I play? Did I like camping? Did I even like music? Why did I go to school so far away? What were my hobbies? What did I do in my spare time?

All fair questions to ask a person when you’re getting to know someone I suppose. But it didn’t translate. Why would my music-loving, multi-instrumentalist, boy scout, barista boyfriend want to date me? The girl who played no instruments, had never been camping and was an academic overachiever going to school in another state.

When you put it like that…hmm. Well? (Let me also mention that I was a broke college student, so he wasn’t after my money). We were both pressed by these questions of what we had in common and when put on the spot, couldn’t quite come up with an answer. We fought in circles, questioning expectations of each other and searching for answers we didn’t have. Those questions tripped us up because while they ultimately aren’t key factors in a relationship they were being treated as such. We knew we liked each other, but was that enough? Why didn’t we have all of the same hobbies and skills? Should we? Who should change?

It wasn’t until we realized we had the same values that we understood why we made total sense as a couple. Sure, we each have a hobby or two that the other has no interest in. We also both support each other and try to understand one another’s interests. All of that is fine and good, but our interests don’t truly define us.

We both see hospitality as a way of life. We believe creativity is of worth. We are deliberate in our spending habits. We care deeply for our friends. We love the same God.

These values made up who we were as a couple. Likewise, as individuals, our personal values have a greater impact on who we are than our hobbies do.

 31 Days: Finding Self | Moving PeacesThis post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Finding a Job or Finding Self

Elephant | Moving PeacesLet’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?

In May, my job ended. Since then I’ve had my share of interviews and opportunities and then even more rejection interviews. I’ve tried everything, tried nothing, doubted, and questioned. I’ve loaded my schedule and have taken on more freelance work. I’m currently volunteering and even working a 3-month contract position with full-time hours.

Through all of it, I’ve questioned everything. I questioned why this happened and if I could have/should have done something different. I mentally revisited every job I had ever taken or turned down and questioned if I had made the right decisions. With each rejection this summer I questioned what I did wrong in my interviews. If my cover letters or resumes were bad or if I didn’t wear the right outfit. I questioned what my friends and acquaintances must think of me for being stuck in this situation. Did I seem like a quitter or a failure? Did they even take me seriously any more? It seeped into everything else I did as I questioned my abilities across the board. Was I good at project management? Did I make any impact on the work I did? Did I know how to move a project from an idea stage to fruition? Was I actually a valuable member on a team? Was my writing any good?

Before all of that, I had talked about a job not defining a person. I meant it, too. I’ve had a few jobs that haven’t quite suited me, but I always had a job. So when I didn’t have one, I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know what my purpose was and wasn’t confident in my abilities. I tried to claim different things and own different passions. I practiced saying a sentence summary of who I was in the car while running errands. I stayed up late and woke up early to show that I was using my time for something. I stayed inside more often than an unemployed person should in the summer time just so I wouldn’t have to explain myself to the neighbors.

So does this all have a point? Have I reached that epiphany and know who I am now? 

I’m working on it.

I had an unsettling feeling that this whole thing would shake things up a bit. I don’t necessarily like learning things the hard way though and hoped it would all pass quickly. I’m still searching for a job, but also still hopeful. Some days I come off as confident and other days I likely sound more desperate. But when it comes down to it, I have a better idea of who I am and what’s important to me now in regards to work.

I’ve found that I don’t have to wait for a job offer to do the things I like doing. I can write as much as I want on this blog and work on growing my online presence. I can learn presentation skills on stage while playing music with my husband. I can plan events at church or by volunteering with various organizations. I can help people without working at a nonprofit, and I can manage projects that are my own instead of someone else’s.

Knowing that I can do all of that right now, without waiting for someone’s approval or paycheck, is incredibly freeing. Do I still have self-doubt and tears and wonder when I’ll move forward professionally? Of course. The difference between now and six months ago is that I’m actually doing all of those things wholeheartedly. While this journey hasn’t been easy, it has given me a much greater sense of what I am capable of doing and what I want to do during my life.

 

31 Days: Finding Self | Moving Peaces

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

 

Hidden Dreams

I think we all have some untapped passions in us. There’s a side of us that we have that plays out from time to time, but we never see it until we go after something that almost falls into our laps.

If you had told me three years ago that thing would be women’s ministry at church I would have never believed you. But if you ask me to stop and consider it–how I love connecting women to each other, I love talking about real life and why our stories matter and how I care so deeply about the relationship between people and church–it starts to make more sense.

A little over a year ago, I jotted down some dreams for what women’s ministry could look like. In the middle of the night I wrote down all sorts of thoughts and ideas, never thinking it would amount to anything. I shoved that notebook back into a drawer and didn’t give it much thought. I didn’t think it was my thing or that I was the right person for the job. Months later I came across an opportunity that I had to bring up. I wanted to shake it and go on pretending it didn’t matter much to me, but it did.

I’m excited to tell you we are less than a week away from a women’s event that I’ve been helping plan at church. And oddly enough, a lot of it is in line with those hopes and dreams I wrote down ridiculously late that one night. There’s still a bit to do, but I’m eager to see how it might impact those that attend (if you’re reading this and local, please consider yourself invited)! While I might not have wanted to claim this part of me previously, I know now that it is a huge passion of mine. It may take a different form than others, but it is something I’m so glad I pursued.

 

IF Promo Video from Lifepointe Church.

I believe God gives us dreams and passions for a purpose. I’m still learning and discovering what mine are, but I know they are intended for use. So even though I didn’t realize this was something I would be involved in, I kept putting those different skills and loves into practice and tried to stay open to what that might mean down the line. Anyone else had a similar story? Found yourself in the midst of something you never would have imagined and then looked around and realized it all suddenly made sense?

 

31 Days: Finding Self | Moving Peaces

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.