Jobs & Identity Archives - Page 3 of 6

Stuck in the Montage

January 6, 2015Samantha Gratton

Do you dream about doing something epic? Especially this time of year when people are going wild with goals and dreams? There’s the pipe dream or acceptance speech that you picture happening one day. Whatever it is, it’s amazing and you’ll be leaps and bounds from where you are now.

Some days though, the success is merely in making it through the day. There’s no award passed out or a congratulatory grin flashed your way. You get to go to sleep and do it all over again. All the little details and duties add up each day, and suddenly you’re out of time to do that epic thing or even have time to think about it.

In the movies they have a clever way of showing someone trudging through life. There’s a theme song and clips upon clips showing the main character go through the practicing and preparing. They pace through the hallway or run up and down the stairs–trying and failing–albeit showing small signs of improvement. Finally, the moment comes and it all amounts to something. Cue end credits.

Right now, all I’ve got to show is the movie montage, and it’s not even half finished. I keep working on fixing my mistakes, finding who I am, appreciating what I have, realizing my strengths and weaknesses, building better relationships and searching for my moment. That great big shining moment at the end of it all when it comes together and somehow makes sense. The tedium and the frustration of going through it all again and again is far less lighthearted without the song and the sped up highlight reel.

I look around and think how badly I want to check all of those things off my list, forever. Wouldn’t it be nice to say you’ve mastered all of your mistakes or finally formed perfect working relationships with everyone you know? Maybe you can say that, but I certainly can’t. Each day seems to bring both lost battles and small victories.

You know what? Sometimes I want the montage to be over already. Get me to the good part. But what I’ve been realizing lately is a need to appreciate the montage. It might be as close as we ever get to the “big moment” in this life. This wonderful thing called life is a nonstop montage of all the things we have to work through. It might not even be until the end that we get to look back and see all of the triumphs within it. We get to constantly grow and learn and do things, despite the hardships it might bring. Wouldn’t you rather have a life that is progressing instead of a stagnant life after that one big moment has passed?

So maybe living out the montage isn’t so terrible after all. (Having a theme song couldn’t hurt though…)

What If…

December 31, 2014December 31, 2014Samantha Gratton

What if this is your “what if”?

I often think back to decisions I made in the past. The way I handled relationships with people. Jobs I did or didn’t take. My response to a crisis or to a triumph. Then I often ask that question–“what if?” What if I had said it this way or done it that way? I spend way too much time thinking and dwelling on mere moments as if something else will happen if turn it over in my mind again and again. Hollywood loves this sort of stuff –back to the future, travel through time–whatever it is to explore these types of fantasies.

But what if your “what if” moment is right now? What if this is your opportunity for adventure, forgiveness, honesty, kindness, risk and faith? I’m not saying to live every moment as if it were your last, that would mean we’d overindulge ourselves and take nothing else into consideration. What I mean is, what if right now is that opportunity, that mere moment you’ve been waiting for? So you have it, here it is, this is your chance. Now what are you going to do with it?

Think for a moment–this, this is your life right now as you breathe in and out. This is what it’s “supposed to” look like (it’s not perfection and perhaps it’s even downright wrong…but this is what it is right now, so stop getting caught up in the “supposed to”). Maybe we had plans for something else, but whatever is happening right now is actually what it is. This is the moment to respond to, not a time in the past that is long gone or an idealized future that may never come.

Your “what if” moment is here.

Thursday Three

November 13, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

It’s time for that weekly wrap-up that I like to call the Thursday Three. Alliteration is awesome.

1. The job search is on. I keep getting asked for status updates on the job search and all I can say at this point is that it is on. For those who haven’t been on a job searching journey recently, let me explain. Except in rare cases, it is not a one-time thing. You interview and send cover letters and network and do all the things until you think you can’t do it anymore. And then do it some more. It’s tiring, but I’m hopeful. I don’t want to go on like it’s all bad, but the thing is that it doesn’t have a clear outcome until you have an actual offer. I’ve been a finalist several times in the past few months, but they don’t let you put that on your resume. So, I’ll just keep going until I find the right thing for me.

2. We’re more than just married…now, we’re a band. This weekend was our official big debut at our friends’ coffee shop. We played for around an hour and a half but then a while later, did an encore set. I was nervous the first few songs, but soon really started to enjoy it. There’s something very vulnerable about singing songs you wrote (we sang 9 originals), but it’s good.

We still need a band name... Photo by John - Triangleexplorer.com — We still need a band name…
Photo by John – Triangleexplorer.com

3. Sometimes it’s worth being silly, just because. Do something to make someone laugh today. Write a funny story or be ridiculous. Maybe they need it or maybe you need it.

Writing Cover Letters is My Hobby

November 12, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

Oh, how I miss writing fun blog posts and articles. I barely manage to tweet these days without feeling bad for not working on a cover letter instead. Do you know how difficult it is to re-write the same cover letter 50 times within six months? Because I do.

In case you were wondering where all my writing energy has gone lately, that’s where to look. My contract position is ending next week, therefore I am all about the job search. Still. So what do these cover letters say? Oh, you know–that I would love to work there and that I have experience and that I would be a great fit. There’s a bit of resume talk thrown around from time to time, but usually just on accident. Despite all of my many hours of cover letter writing experience, it’s still pretty difficult to muster up the energy and pour my heart into a one-page summary of why a company should pick me out of the masses.

If I were to write an utterly honest cover letter, it would go a little more like this…

Dear Hiring Manager,

Hey! Thanks for posting this job that looks interesting. How many of these letters have you received so far? I’m just curious. Am I number 152 or 291? I’ll be honest and say that I do indeed want this job, but then again, I’m guessing all of the other people who have written you say that, too. I promise you I’m telling you the truth though, and that I actually want to work here. I won’t add an emoticon because that’s unprofessional, but know that I am smiling and am really excited about working here. Yay!

My friend told me about your office and it sounds really neat. I’m not sure how much to let on that I’ve found just about every employee on Linkedin at this point and even found a couple of blog posts from former employees about working here (don’t worry, all good things). This internet searching ability is really an art and could even be an asset to your team. I know that sounds creepy though, so maybe I’ll just instead talk about how it seems like you are doing such great things in the community, because that’s important to me, too.

This third paragraph is usually the same paragraph that I copy and paste into all of my applications. I know, that doesn’t sound very personal, but being number 291 doesn’t seem personal either. I can’t figure out how to tell about my experience much better than all of this stuff about my background in communications, project management and event planning. It seems like a direct match to your job description, so please make the connection. Otherwise I can add, “which is what I would do at your company” to the end of every sentence if that is helpful, but sometimes it feels silly and redundant instead.

I’m going to end this letter now for two reasons: 1. The job description you posted was only a paragraph long so I don’t know what else to say. 2. I hear your cover letter should only be a page long and we’re pushing it here, despite the fact that the font size is 11.5 and the margins are already way slimmer than most. Please call me because I sincerely want to work here and would be an excellent fit for the role. If only you could see me as more than just a cover letter, then I think you would agree. Feel free to contact me at anytime because I will be refreshing my email and checking my phone every five minutes until then.

Sincerely,

Samantha

p.s. I’m a rock star. Not the flaky musician kind of rock star, but the awesome motivated kind. Hire me!

Anybody with me? Got any cover letter wisdom or stories you care to share?

Finding a Job or Finding Self

October 13, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?

In May, my job ended. Since then I’ve had my share of interviews and opportunities and then even more ~~rejection~~ interviews. I’ve tried everything, tried nothing, doubted, and questioned. I’ve loaded my schedule and have taken on more freelance work. I’m currently volunteering and even working a 3-month contract position with full-time hours.

Through all of it, I’ve questioned everything. I questioned why this happened and if I could have/should have done something different. I mentally revisited every job I had ever taken or turned down and questioned if I had made the right decisions. With each rejection this summer I questioned what I did wrong in my interviews. If my cover letters or resumes were bad or if I didn’t wear the right outfit. I questioned what my friends and acquaintances must think of me for being stuck in this situation. Did I seem like a quitter or a failure? Did they even take me seriously any more? It seeped into everything else I did as I questioned my abilities across the board. Was I good at project management? Did I make any impact on the work I did? Did I know how to move a project from an idea stage to fruition? Was I actually a valuable member on a team? Was my writing any good?

Before all of that, I had talked about a job not defining a person. I meant it, too. I’ve had a few jobs that haven’t quite suited me, but I always had a job. So when I didn’t have one, I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know what my purpose was and wasn’t confident in my abilities. I tried to claim different things and own different passions. I practiced saying a sentence summary of who I was in the car while running errands. I stayed up late and woke up early to show that I was using my time for something. I stayed inside more often than an unemployed person should in the summer time just so I wouldn’t have to explain myself to the neighbors.

So does this all have a point? Have I reached that epiphany and know who I am now?

I’m working on it.

I had an unsettling feeling that this whole thing would shake things up a bit. I don’t necessarily like learning things the hard way though and hoped it would all pass quickly. I’m still searching for a job, but also still hopeful. Some days I come off as confident and other days I likely sound more desperate. But when it comes down to it, I have a better idea of who I am and what’s important to me now in regards to work.

I’ve found that I don’t have to wait for a job offer to do the things I like doing. I can write as much as I want on this blog and work on growing my online presence. I can learn presentation skills on stage while playing music with my husband. I can plan events at church or by volunteering with various organizations. I can help people without working at a nonprofit, and I can manage projects that are my own instead of someone else’s.

Knowing that I can do all of that right now, without waiting for someone’s approval or paycheck, is incredibly freeing. Do I still have self-doubt and tears and wonder when I’ll move forward professionally? Of course. The difference between now and six months ago is that I’m actually doing all of those things wholeheartedly. While this journey hasn’t been easy, it has given me a much greater sense of what I am capable of doing and what I want to do during my life.

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Hidden Dreams

October 12, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

I think we all have some untapped passions in us. There’s a side of us that we have that plays out from time to time, but we never see it until we go after something that almost falls into our laps.

If you had told me three years ago that thing would be women’s ministry at church I would have never believed you. But if you ask me to stop and consider it–how I love connecting women to each other, I love talking about real life and why our stories matter and how I care so deeply about the relationship between people and church–it starts to make more sense.

A little over a year ago, I jotted down some dreams for what women’s ministry could look like. In the middle of the night I wrote down all sorts of thoughts and ideas, never thinking it would amount to anything. I shoved that notebook back into a drawer and didn’t give it much thought. I didn’t think it was my thing or that I was the right person for the job. Months later I came across an opportunity that I had to bring up. I wanted to shake it and go on pretending it didn’t matter much to me, but it did.

I’m excited to tell you we are less than a week away from a women’s event that I’ve been helping plan at church. And oddly enough, a lot of it is in line with those hopes and dreams I wrote down ridiculously late that one night. There’s still a bit to do, but I’m eager to see how it might impact those that attend (if you’re reading this and local, please consider yourself invited)! While I might not have wanted to claim this part of me previously, I know now that it is a huge passion of mine. It may take a different form than others, but it is something I’m so glad I pursued.

IF Promo Video from Lifepointe Church.

I believe God gives us dreams and passions for a purpose. I’m still learning and discovering what mine are, but I know they are intended for use. So even though I didn’t realize this was something I would be involved in, I kept putting those different skills and loves into practice and tried to stay open to what that might mean down the line. Anyone else had a similar story? Found yourself in the midst of something you never would have imagined and then looked around and realized it all suddenly made sense?

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Being Enough

October 7, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

Not enough.

How often do we hear that phrase and don’t even realize it? Or worse, how often do we say that to someone else?

Not enough experience or not enough enthusiasm. Not enough knowledge or not enough confidence. Not enough wisdom or not enough motivation. Not enough practice or not enough raw talent. Not enough.

All day long we hear that in some form or another from society–from our job applications, from our teachers, from our bosses, from our family and even from our friends. You’re not enough…this.

When we feel like we are not enough we seek more. We try to do, be and possess MORE. A never ending chase results in us grasping for more so we can finally feel enough. Over time it leaves us feeling worn down and exhausted. We can’t keep up with the rate that more requires, which in turn leads us to feeling once again, not enough. Not enough time, not enough strength, not enough stamina.

But wait a minute. Listen.

How often are we actually told we are not enough compared to how often we reinforce it and decide to believe it? Is it truth? Further, is it even what is being said? Or do we assign ourselves this label of not enough before we hear what we’re being told? When we allow this battle of not being enough to win, we always lose. If you want to play that game, there will always be something in our lives that feels like not enough.

So stop allowing not enough to dictate who you are.

You are enough. Right now. In this very moment. You are complete. Rest in that.

__________________________________________________________

If you need to hear more truth, this is where to find it:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” -Psalm 139:14

^“And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” – Ecclesiastes 4:4

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

Mountain Talk

October 6, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

I don’t often sit still. If I am sitting still, it’s usually with a computer on my lap (and no less than six tabs open), some laundry running and a conversation happening all at once. I’m not the type that can just sit on the porch and ponder. I’ll read a book or maybe bring a notebook to jot down some form of a list…I think you get the idea.

Sometimes the lists and the planning and the thoughts all need to just slow down. We need to get to the place were we can just be without being someone or doing something. We need to simply exist and know that we still matter without all the extra stuff floating through our minds.

Over the weekend we hiked several miles up and down a mountain. As we hiked the first mile, we chatted about goals and plans for the future, despite running out of breath with the ever-increasing altitude. By the second mile we talked about the views we were seeing and what we would eat for dinner later that night. As we hiked and climbed higher, we didn’t focus on anything but just getting there. We were only hikers then.

If you encounter other hikers on the trail, no one asks what your day job is. Seldom do people ask where you’re from. Never do they ask what you do in your free time or if you’ve seen the latest blockbuster. No one knows if you make a lot of money or if you volunteer regularly in the community.

There’s only one thing on their minds, too. The hike. Are we close? Does it get harder? Isn’t it a great view?

And as we got higher and then later descended, there was only one thing we could focus on. We could only take each step in front of us. It didn’t matter in that moment who we were. We just had to keep going.

Sometimes in the journey to finding self, we need to stop thinking about ourselves. Stop thinking about the stuff going on or the possibilities. We get to be another human in the hike of life and just take a step at a time.

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

People and Titles

October 5, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

We are all people. People who have lives outside of our day jobs and interests that go beyond data entry. Why is it that when you are a kid the common question is “What do you like to do?” but later in life that changes to “What do you do?”

As kids we could be soccer players or artists or rock stars. Sure, we spent eight hours of our day in school but no one considered that to be our primary focus. If all we did was school, we were probably pretty boring little dudes. Why has that stopped? Why does a job have to feel like your primary purpose and lot in life? Shouldn’t our lives be made for something more?

I want to dream and create and live my life. So don’t put me in a box that only goes as far as my job title. Because I am a writer. A reader. A creative thinker. A traveler and explorer. Don’t shove those attributes under the rug. Because if those fade, a part of me does, too. And then you’re stuck with a pretty boring little lady.

My life was made for more than a few titles and so was yours.

Does this post sound familiar? I’ll be honest, this was a recycled post from back in the day when my blog had a few faithful followers. It seemed to fit with this series, especially the most recent post, so I thought I would add it in here. If it’s new to you, then super. If not, hopefully it served as good reminder like it did for me.

Thursday Three

August 14, 2014December 9, 2014Samantha Gratton

This week has been vastly different from all of my other weeks this summer. Whew. What a doozie. But in a good way. Let’s not waste any time and get right to it, shall we?

1. A room without windows is an exhausting thing. Daylight, people walking by, trees swaying in the wind…I need to see these things in a day. The photo above shows the direction of my house from downtown Raleigh through a great big window. The majority of my week however has been in a conference room with no windows but plenty of powerpoint presentations and fluorescent lights. Tell me, when are skylights going to be part of the building code? Hmm, I guess that doesn’t really help buildings with more than one floor. Bummer, nevermind I guess. So, WHY was I in a conference room all week? Well, that brings me to the next point…

2. Working brings a whole new energy to life. Albeit overwhelming or stressful at times, working at a job gives all of your other time a little more meaning or sense of urgency. I feel like I’ve been a bit more efficient with my time, but admittedly still have a lot left to do at the end of the day. What work, you ask? (Did I just bury the lead?) I am now working for the next few months as a Community Engagement Fellow for United Way. It is essentially a temporary position, but will hopefully be a good one as I’ll be presenting to different companies all over the Triangle. It came about rather suddenly after the rejection of the last few positions, but I am grateful for the opportunity. This week has been nonstop training with a few other fellows, and I have learned more than my little brain can handle. I’m definitely ready for the weekend but eager to see what is to come.

3. I thought finishing school was just something they did in the movies. As a part of the training we learned all about United Way, several pointers on public speaking, astounding information about the needs right here in our community and some proper business etiquette. Along with it, today we got a lesson according to the standards set by Miss Manners because apparently people really do go to finishing school and know what to do with eight forks and four knives. The bread plate should go on the left and the drink is on the right. Start from the outside and work in with your utensils. Ladies should always be seated first and the host should start the eating so everyone else can follow suit. When eating soup, the spoon should be scooped outwards. If you leave the table but intend to return, place the napkin on the top of your seat. If you are finished eating, place the napkin on the left side of your plate and your utensils side-by-side yet diagonally on the right side of your plate. For rolls, place the amount of butter you need on your plate and apply it on only the morsel you plan to eat before taking a bite. Y’all, I did not go to finishing school. I promise I have table manners, but some of this was a little too much for me.