Writing Cover Letters is My Hobby

Oh, how I miss writing fun blog posts and articles. I barely manage to tweet these days without feeling bad for not working on a cover letter instead. Do you know how difficult it is to re-write the same cover letter 50 times within six months? Because I do.

In case you were wondering where all my writing energy has gone lately, that’s where to look. My contract position is ending next week, therefore I am all about the job search. Still. So what do these cover letters say? Oh, you know–that I would love to work there and that I have experience and that I would be a great fit. There’s a bit of resume talk thrown around from time to time, but usually just on accident. Despite all of my many hours of cover letter writing experience, it’s still pretty difficult to muster up the energy and pour my heart into a one-page summary of why a company should pick me out of the masses.

If I were to write an utterly honest cover letter, it would go a little more like this…

Dear Hiring Manager,

Hey! Thanks for posting this job that looks interesting. How many of these letters have you received so far? I’m just curious. Am I number 152 or 291? I’ll be honest and say that I do indeed want this job, but then again, I’m guessing all of the other people who have written you say that, too. I promise you I’m telling you the truth though, and that I actually want to work here. I won’t add an emoticon because that’s unprofessional, but know that I am smiling and am really excited about working here. Yay!

My friend told me about your office and it sounds really neat. I’m not sure how much to let on that I’ve found just about every employee on Linkedin at this point and even found a couple of blog posts from former employees about working here (don’t worry, all good things). This internet searching ability is really an art and could even be an asset to your team. I know that sounds creepy though, so maybe I’ll just instead talk about how it seems like you are doing such great things in the community, because that’s important to me, too.

This third paragraph is usually the same paragraph that I copy and paste into all of my applications. I know, that doesn’t sound very personal, but being number 291 doesn’t seem personal either. I can’t figure out how to tell about my experience much better than all of this stuff about my background in communications, project management and event planning. It seems like a direct match to your job description, so please make the connection. Otherwise I can add, “which is what I would do at your company” to the end of every sentence if that is helpful, but sometimes it feels silly and redundant instead.

I’m going to end this letter now for two reasons: 1. The job description you posted was only a paragraph long so I don’t know what else to say. 2. I hear your cover letter should only be a page long and we’re pushing it here, despite the fact that the font size is 11.5 and the margins are already way slimmer than most. Please call me because I sincerely want to work here and would be an excellent fit for the role. If only you could see me as more than just a cover letter, then I think you would agree. Feel free to contact me at anytime because I will be refreshing my email and checking my phone every five minutes until then.

Sincerely,

Samantha

p.s. I’m a rock star. Not the flaky musician kind of rock star, but the awesome motivated kind. Hire me!

 

Anybody with me? Got any cover letter wisdom or stories you care to share?