Life Archives - Page 6 of 15

Solo Road Tripping

May 27, 2015May 27, 2015Samantha Gratton

Here’s the deal: I’m out of town right now. Yesterday I posted a video about our trip to Argentina, because well, it was way past due. The thing is, I’m currently road tripping and have been gone for the past two weeks. What!? Crazy, right?

Turns out that going out of the country and coming back to normal life can make you go a little crazy, which is exactly what happened to me. It was a (mostly) good crazy that caused me to hope and dream for big things. Before I knew it, I was planning a solo road trip with 45+ hours of driving over the course of three weeks. I visited towns I’ve never been to, stayed with couchsurfers along the way (aka former strangers), saw dear friends and surprised my mom upon my arrival. Believe it or not, this trip isn’t even over yet.

Here’s the route: Raleigh, NC>Charlotte, NC>Greenville, SC>Atlanta, GA>Birmingham, AL>Memphis, TN>Little Rock, AR>Bentonville, AR>Kansas City, MO>Mason City, IA>Des Moines, IA>St. Louis, MO>Nashville, TN>HOME

I kept most of the details pretty hushed online up until now because I thought it would be fun to surprise my mom and she, being my mom, reads my blog. The shocked expression on her face was totally worth it. But now, I can’t wait to share some of my experiences along the way with you!

So far, the route has gone through a few changes since I first dreamt it up, but since I started the trip it has followed the final plans fairly well. The first few days were quite possibly my most adventurous. Not only was I couchsurfing, but I was also visiting a bunch of cities I’d never been to before and had no idea what to expect. On top of that, I’m also working remotely during the week days, so my time and experiences may be limited in all of these places but I still get a glimpse of things along the way.

In case you’re wondering…my husband is not on the trip, primarily because his work is not remote, but also because this trip made sense for me and not for him this time. He got to stay home and work on some of his big dreams and goals. We knew this was a matter of pursuing opportunities as they come–for both of us.

I have taken photos, made memories, thought through life, shared meals, visited dear friends, and become friends with (otherwise) perfect strangers. I definitely hope to give you more of a destination by destination summary later on, but for now, just want to share a few basic things I’ve found along the way…

Context carries a lot of weight. When I had an introduction or someone mentioned my trip, suddenly I was an interesting person with a story to tell but other times I was just another girl in the crowd whose story appeared boring and ordinary.
Creativity can strike in the most bizarre places…and it won’t run out if we use it.
Everyone has a messy house. Maybe you’re that one weirdo who doesn’t have laundry or dishes or a pile of random things on the counter, but you’re in the small minority. Seeing a lot of other (normal) homes has me convinced that it’s okay to have a house that looks well, rather lived in.
There are a lot of (dead) armadillos by the side of the road in Arkansas.
The culture changes in different parts of the country. Different pasts, different stories, different thoughts.
A lot of people think they know how you should live your life. The ones that admit they don’t know the answers but are striving to do their best with what they’ve got are the ones I trust the most.
Some parts of the country just simply aren’t great places to visit.
No matter how nice you are, you might say the wrong thing one day. It feels like the worst moment ever as soon as you realize you hurt someone but had no idea at the time.
Some local coffee shops are amazing, others leave a lot to be desired.
There’s a ton of gospel music on the radio in the South.
Late nights paired with early mornings will catch up to you.
Solo road trips are more rare than I realized. I’ve been told a few times that I’m brave for going at this alone, especially as a woman. Maybe that’s true and in some ways this trip feels meaningful but in a lot of other ways, it feels pretty average. I am only driving between two to six hours at a time and for a big part of the trip I’m with people I know. The fact that I had the opportunity to do it makes a huge difference, but what I’m actually doing is not epic in itself.
Travel isn’t for the purpose of merely “seeing all the things and going all the places.” It’s to gain perspective and understanding, all the while challenging yourself.
I love to travel, but there’s more to life than traveling. If I had to give up everything to travel, I don’t think it would actually be worth it. My relationships, friendships, home, skills and goals hold huge value to me. I think sometimes travel seems glamorous, but it can come at a cost to other aspects of our life.

Daily Creativity

May 19, 2015May 19, 2015Samantha Gratton

Creativity does not run out.

When you write, sometimes it feels like writing more might mean you’ll be all out of writing. But that isn’t the case. Sure there are days when you just want to get outside and get away from a computer, but writing inspires writing. Thinking inspires thinking. Traveling sparks more travel. Music makes more music. So write like the writing will never run out. Create without fear of running out of creativity.

While I wrote the above paragraph about a month ago, it was introduced in a new way to me just last week. On Thursday, I had the privilege to attend the Creative Women’s Summit, an event put together by the Influence Network. There were so many thoughts and ideas presented there that I could write my next seven posts just on of my scribbled out notes. Perhaps in the future I will get the chance to type out more of my thoughts but for now, I want to talk briefly about this idea of creativity and how it doesn’t necessarily run out like we think it could.

Hayley Morgan spoke ever so briefly during the event, but what she shared definitely stuck with me. She talked about creativity being like manna. I’d never thought about it in this way before but want remember to gather creativity day-by-day, just like manna.

If you don’t know what the heck I am talking about, let’s get a little background, okay? In the Bible (specifically, Exodus 16), there is a group of people (the Israelites) who are in between slavery and the Promised Land and unfortunately, are wandering in the desert for 40 years. During this time, God provided manna from heaven to feed them (some sort of bread-y substance). What’s interesting is that they were only take what they needed for that day. If someone took more than they needed, it would rot and go bad. Then, manna would be provided again the next day. There was no need to store up extra or hoard food because it would be available again the next day when it was needed.

In the same way, consider creativity to be like manna. We can take all the creativity we need at the time we are needing it, but rest in the promise that it will come again. We don’t need to cling to our creativity and ideas as if it’s our only chance. We shouldn’t hoard ideas or possibilities, because that will leave us stuck with rotting ideas. Use those ideas when they come and take what you need when it’s there. Know that if one idea doesn’t work, there will be another one, so it’s okay to move forward without it. We also don’t do something once for the week or the month, instead we continue to find the daily provision and opportunity to be creative. The creativity will come back again.

After I write a good post or a new song or whatever it may be, it’s easy to suddenly feel like that’s it. There’s no more ideas in my head, and I’ve peaked. There’s a lot of pressure in that, which then causes doubt and fear…and ultimately, inhibits creativity. If instead, we remember that it will be there again–that we just need to faithfully take and use the creativity we need–there’s no reason for fear. It’s not our problem to solve. God created us and He will provide the creativity–we just need to use it when it’s there.

Creativity does not run out, so use it.

Know Me, Not That

May 11, 2015Samantha Gratton

We all want to know and be known on some level. Whether it’s fame or friendship, we want someone else to know who we are, what we stand for and what we are like.

But what happens when we let someone know the less pretty side?

I’m not talking about the, “I’m a mess because my socks don’t match and we’re out of coffee” kind. I’m not even talking about the “My life is not going the way I planned” kind of mess. No, I’m talking about the downright ugly internal struggles, like jealousy, discontentment or negativity.

I want to be known, but I do not want those things to be known whatsoever. The reason I don’t want you to know about them is because frankly, I don’t want them to be real. I don’t want that to be “me” in any way. Sometimes in my longing to build relationships, I let those out. The thing is, that’s not what I want to be known for.

So the question becomes, how do we walk the line of transparency, revealing our struggles and the really “real”, without seeming just plain ugly? I want any bitterness, jealousy and hurt to be completely removed from my life. But if I’m being honest, it’s in there sometimes. I hate it, and of course I don’t want anyone to see it. At the same time, I don’t want to slap on a facade and pretend it’s not there either.

I would rather you know the loving, thoughtful and creative sides, but truthfully, I have all sorts of flaws, too. This isn’t something I’d like to dwell on, but I think it’s worth talking about. I think we all have sides that we don’t want anyone to see. In hopes of hiding it away, we avoid and ignore issues that need to be addressed. Maybe instead it’s time to have some honest conversations. Find a trusted friend or maybe even confront yourself.

There’s more here to say: More to talk about when it comes to struggles and failures. Finding trustworthy friends and learning when it isn’t time to share. Coping with ugly truths and battling it out in hopes of personal refinement. Realizing beautiful truths and learning to embrace them. More to question and wrestle with as we discover who we really are. But for now, I leave you with merely the start…how are you known?

Wondering about Wanderlust

May 4, 2015Samantha Gratton

My passport is still sitting on my bedside table.

You know, the table that holds a little lamp, the latest book I’m reading, my (cheap) jewelry, a few hair ties and whatever I may empty from my pockets at the end of the day. Oh, and on nights that I can’t sleep or have a little cough, there’s also a glass of water just waiting to be tipped over when I reach across to silence my alarm in the morning. This is not the proper place for a passport to rest.

Upon returning from a recent trip to Argentina, I immediately threw all of my clothes in the wash, but the rest of my bag and all of its contents lingered. I removed my passport out of my purse and probably just placed it on the table in passing before returning it back to its rightful place in the safe. But now I just can’t bring myself to do it.

It feels like putting it away is acknowledging that a chapter of my life has closed. The chapter where I travel to different parts of the world and experience all sorts of new things. Whether that’s true or not, I do not know. Without a firm answer to that question, I cannot bring myself to tuck it away. Every morning, there’s my passport…simultaneously inspiring me and taunting me, suggesting there’s more to explore and another adventure yet in store.

I’m not sure what I’m more afraid of: the end of an era or what it would take to call myself a world-traveler.

I love to travel. I love learning about another culture and talking with people who live in an area so different than my own. This isn’t a quest for a nonstop vacation or spending time in countless resorts. To me, travel is about exploration…in hopes of bettering myself and the world. Hearing the stories of others, challenging myself to go outside my comfort zone and helping those I encounter along the way.

But when do we know it’s time to stop? When is it time to focus on what’s in front of us instead of constantly searching for more? When is it pursuing dreams and when is it discontentment or worse, disillusion? What if a pursuit of travel is far from meaningful–barely even personal development and merely selfishness in disguise?

What is it that I am trying to accomplish? Is it worthwhile? Is it necessary? Is it beneficial? At what cost?

I’ve wrestled with these questions constantly, leaving me unsettled and almost frantic for some sort of resolve or conclusion, to no avail. Hence, my passport and I maintain our standstill, unable to move forward and unwilling to turn back.

Why? Why is this my response? Normal people can take a trip for two weeks, show off the photos and talk about how they had great a time before returning to regular daily life. Either I’m not normal, or I don’t want to be.

Call me naive, but I so desperately want to be intentional with my life–to do something, to make it count. At home it seems that I can’t help but fall into a routine between work, friends, a few hobbies and some TV. Maybe that’s why travel is so appealing to me–it forces me out of that routine. It asks so much more from me, and I eagerly comply.

I see travel as my opportunity, my challenge to do something more than live a predictable and average American life. What if I set foot on every continent, learned another language and propelled my life towards a bigger story full of excitement and uncertainty? A few weeks of travel here and there over the course of a lifetime hardly feels like enough time to embrace and understand another culture. What if I challenged myself to leave everything I’ve ever known for some sort of unknown across the world? What a life to live, what a story to tell…isn’t that worth pursuing?

Conversely, what would I be leaving? Career aspirations, friendships, community, roots. Would the pursuit of international exploration risk or overlook my commitments, lasting relationships or long-term investments? Could that leave me feeling empty and shallow, despite the collection of incredible photos?

I was given this life, my life, and I can’t stand the idea of just letting it slide on by. I don’t want to “play it safe” and gradually surround myself with comfort and routine, yet I don’t want to chase a life of adventures merely for the sake of a bucket list or another story to tell while potentially undervaluing commitment, consistency and responsibility.

Maybe it’s not one or the other. Maybe there’s a balance to be found in it all without compromising one or the other. For some, perhaps the answer is more clear, but for me it continues to be a struggle. So, my passport, a simple booklet with a few stamps, sits by my bed and waits while begging the question: what’s next?

Thursday Three

April 23, 2015June 13, 2015Samantha Gratton

You know the drill. Time for the Thursday Three. Let’s do this!

1. My husband has a new love: the garden. Last weekend half the neighborhood decided it was time to plant, so an all-day adventure ensued. From the tomato lady to the farmers’ market and house to house, we all managed to put some dirt and veggies in the ground. For whatever reason the prime planting time seemed to occur after dark. Now we just get to watch our little garden grow (and it’s going to be even better than last year’s).

Neighborhood Gardening | Moving Peaces — Selfie by Cindy…because she’s awesome

2. Cars break. Or the A/C does when you live in the South. Sigh. So annoying. I hate spending so much money on lame things like car repairs when I know I could fly to Hawaii for about the same amount. The downside of older cars is never knowing when to say, “No more repairs, time for a different car.” We had a pretty good (albeit busy) week…but I just wanted to keep things real and let you know that our car is feeling finicky.

3. Blogging has its perks. Honestly, the biggest perk is getting to connect with people, be it in person or online. I love getting emails from people telling me their story or someone coming up to me and saying how much a certain post meant to them. As much as I write just because I love it, I write in hopes of encouraging or inspiring someone else.

Selfie by Stephanie from A Style of Her Own

Also…blogging sometimes has perks in the form of swag and I’m not about to turn that opportunity down. Tonight I attended a local blogging event where I got to meet so many other lovely bloggers while we ate PDQ (good chicken) and checked out what is to come for the Southern Women’s Show this weekend. I figured, why not? I’m a Southern woman now, right? And then they gave us more swag than I knew what to do with.

News on the Job Front

April 21, 2015July 1, 2015Samantha Gratton

Back in February, I had a few choices to make and offers to consider. It came through around the same time that I was realizing my strengths and possibilities and feel more at peace with where I was in life. I didn’t love being without a job for so long, but I finally found the flexibility it afforded me and uncovered some of the dreams that had long been ignored. Last June, I had so desperately wanted to hurry up the process and shake out the remedies, but that just wasn’t the way it went.

Instead, I got to pour into my blog, plan an awesome event, invest in relationships around me, submit my writing to a major publication, play my first gig, start doing voice overs and freelance work, ask what if and go on a big trip.

Do you know how full those nine months in between jobs were? Full of questions, doubt, tears, struggle and uncertainty, sure. But also full of time, opportunity, challenge and joy.

It was far from easy, and I will continue to be a voice and sounding board for those in the midst of a job search. It is some sort of terrible to face rejection after rejection and doubt everything you’ve ever known career-wise. But I also want to share the other side, the side where I found a job.

I wish I could explain all the ways I’ve seen good come out of all of this mess this past year. It was never a guarantee that things would end up the way they did, and I will surely face trials in the days and years to come. Life brings pain and hardship, because that’s how it goes sometimes. It’s what reminds us we aren’t invincible–that we need friends, family and God in it all.

There’s a lot to learn still about my new position and what all it will entail. Right now I know that I’ll get to write, communicate and think creatively. As far as logistics go, I have the option to work from home or in the office just 20 minutes away. I get to work with a team and help a company continue to grow. And on top of that, they want me to keep going after my hopes and goals in my spare time: to keep blogging, dreaming and being me.

So thanks for listening to me and offering encouragement. Thanks for putting up with the rants and enduring the in-between. I’m glad to be where I am now but also grateful for the journey, as tough as it was.

(There are a lot of links in there…mostly to other parts of the story. This wasn’t a short story, and I have a feeling the story isn’t over yet.)

UPDATE: Sadly, this job did not work out. Major bummer. I’ve edited out some of the specifics about the job and company but decided to keep the post. It was triumphant, not only about the new job but also a celebration of everything I had learned and how far I had come. I stand by that celebration of growth today, despite the disappointment of how things happened in this particular job.

Thursday Three

April 16, 2015April 16, 2015Samantha Gratton

I had high hopes of sharing so many wonderful things with you via blog post earlier this week. (Because we all know it’s high time I finally posted some photos from our trip.) Alas, the week got away from me, and you’ll just have to keep waiting. Soon. But for now, let’s keep with the regularly scheduled programming. I know you know it’s time for the Thursday Three, so here we go.

1. There are rules and then there are realities. We all have things we need to do and it is what it is (like taxes or sleeping). But then there are things we feel we need to do, like blog more often or dust the ceiling fan or create a bucket list or say yes to everything. These are the things that pile up fast and seem to stress me out the most. The reality is, I don’t have to do all of those things all the time.

So maybe I spent more time with friends this week and less time writing–that’s okay. Maybe next week I’ll write 3 blog posts and finally practice ukulele, or maybe I’ll just go for a bike ride every day instead. Here’s what I’m getting at: We impose these goals and expectations on ourselves sometimes that aren’t actual necessities. That in itself is not a bad thing so long as we learn to make the distinction. So try not to get caught up in the stress of things that aren’t actually required and enjoy the life you do have. (Also, please don’t ever examine the top of my ceiling fan.)

2. Don’t spend all your time on the couch. Sure, sometimes we all need a breather, and I’ve definitely got my shows on Netflix. But try to make the time you have count. Don’t let it stress you out, but explore new opportunities and try new things. Plant a garden, try yoga, check out a networking event, read a book–you know, things.

3. We all do a little trial and error. Often it feels like if we don’t get something right the first or second time, it must not be for us. While I think we each have different talents and gifts, we have to leave room for trial and error. That’s part of learning and persevering. So much of life is full of trial and error…so just go ahead and try.

Thursday Three

April 2, 2015April 3, 2015Samantha Gratton

Well, we’ve made it to another Thursday. Did you hear that? YOU MADE IT!! Congrats on getting through another week! I think we need to have that mentality a little more in life. I was reading a book recently that was a memoir of sorts and the couple said they got in the habit of saying “I woke up” in the mornings just to remind themselves of the wonder and awe in that statement. So when I stopped by a new local business today and the owner said they’d been open for two weeks I couldn’t help but reply, “You made it two weeks! Congrats!”

1. Spring has sprung! This week just feels more alive now that people are spending time outside, we got to take a bike ride and the sun shines on past supper time. Halleluiah. Like most people, winter is not my favorite regardless of how much (or how little) cold and snow we get–the long dark days are enough for me to dislike it. I think it’s safe to say, spring is finally here!

My favorite flowers - Oregon this time last year. — My favorite flowers in Oregon this time last year.

2. Quality time is better than quantity…but when possible, both are nice. Time is an important thing to me, and I love getting time with the people in my life. Our trip away meant we had plenty of time together, just the two of us. Upon our return we’ve been trying to see everyone and catch up, which has been awesome. We had missed out on some of the quantity and quality with friends while away, but we also quickly realized we were cramming our time so full that we weren’t seeing enough of each other already. Sounds silly after a trip with just us, but we quickly realized that we needed to continue to set time aside for each other.

3. Taking care of your health should always remain a priority. Health isn’t a given unfortunately, but you do have the opportunity to take care of yourself as much as you can. So use that opportunity. Invest in your health–physically and mentally. Maybe it’s time for that checkup or teeth cleaning…or maybe it’s just finding time to go for a walk or addressing some mental health needs. In some ways I feel like a fairly healthy person but in other ways I’ve had a run of different health mysteries and mishaps over the years that required my attention. It’s not always my favorite topic or way to spend my time/resources, but it is so important to our well-being. While the financial cost is often high, the quality of life cost is even higher if you don’t tend to it. So take care of yourself and the people around as best as you can.

Less Rest When You Dream

March 30, 2015Samantha Gratton

While we were away we were almost intentional about not doing the things we usually do. Now that we’re home those duties, drivers and dreams are back with a vengeance.

It’s as if we both feel this need, this longing to create. It’s almost a burden and to be honest, I can’t decide if it’s a good one or a bad one. He immediately starting editing videos. I wrote and wrote. I have a sense of responsibility to my writing. To my goals, dreams and hopes. It goes beyond writing–travel, music, relationships and art all have seats at the table in this house.

There’s no denying that we’re back. No hiding in another country without a properly functioning cell phone. The pressure is clear, the distractions are back and the battle is just getting started. We both had victorious moments during the first week of our trip. I had an article published in Relevant, and he got to contribute some footage in a National Geographic video. It was as if our hard work had paid off, and we got to momentarily bask in its bliss.

But upon return, we went straight back to the grind. We know these creative goals are not something we can just sit on and expect dividends in return. It’s a pressure, it’s a responsibility and it’s right in front of our faces. Neither of us know when time will run out on these dreams so we continue to cram ourselves full to make sure things happen. It’s exhausting already, and we just got back last week.

So the question becomes, what for? What are we aiming to achieve? What cost does it bring? What’s the purpose? Is it the right kind of dream? Finally, is it worth it?

This Week’s Three

March 27, 2015Samantha Gratton

We’re back! Back from a wonderful trip in Argentina for the past two weeks, and I haven’t quite gotten everything back in order yet. Without further ado, here’s the quick three from the week.

1. We’re more busy here than we were there. You’d think that now that we’re back I would have been all over the Thursday Three and had it nicely written out and ready to describe our time away. Well, it turns out that we jumped right back into life here and that leaves limited time for all of the things we love to do. Plus, everyone wants to catch up from our two weeks away all at once. While we do too, it suddenly feels like we are behind on everything already and we only just got here. In time I’m sure we’ll get back into the routine of things though.

2. There’s no place like home. We like living in Raleigh and feel fortunate to live in the US. There are things in other countries that are better at times (like Dulce de Leche for instance), but we have a pretty good life here. Thanks for being a part of that good life.

3. Don’t worry, photos will follow. Soon. Maybe even video, too. It’s hard to go through hundreds of photos and pick out your favorites in a day or two…especially when life already seems busy. But I promise to bring you a few so you can start planning your next trip to South America (it was amazing)!