Uncategorized

Me + You

Samantha Gratton

There is one relationship that I value above the rest. When we’re talking about humans, my relationship with my husband matters more (only God can trump it and I said humans here). That doesn’t mean I don’t care about what’s happening in the lives of others or can’t be friends with people. Quite the contrary, but when it comes down to priorities, he comes first. Over a job, over friends, over school, over hobbies, over other family even. Having a good relationship in my marriage is beyond important to me. So I will do things that might seem ridiculous to some if it protects my marriage—whether it’s setting aside extra time or saying no to a good thing sometimes. In a society that sometimes overvalues a career or “success” I choose my marriage.

I can’t say I always know best how to do so or have the perfect relationship. I wish this was the case, but we are imperfect people who have to live in love and a whole lot of grace. We have misunderstandings and disagreements. Well-intentioned statements go awry or maybe even less than well-intentioned words slip. Gosh some days it’s tough to figure out what the heck we should do in certain situations. Some days it’s the most wonderful carefree thing in the world. Regardless, we made a commitment to each other to stick together. Nothing is allowed to mess with that. I will guard and protect this relationship with all that I’ve got. Because this relationship matters the most to me. Plus, the better we are, the better our other relationships will likely be, too. So if I ever seem to talk to much about him or us, this is why. He’s my guy.

Neighbor, neighbor

Samantha Gratton

As much as I love my faraway friends (and I really truly do), neighbors matter. They are the people you see from day to day. The ones who hear your music and make your mouth water when they fire up the grill. We were lucky enough to move to a neighborhood where some of our friends already lived, but I’ve been thrilled to also meet the people nearby and on our street.

I’m a bit biased, but I already love our neighborhood. We live a mile from downtown in an area that might have once been less than desirable to live in. It’s an intentional rental community with apartments, townhomes and houses. Senior living, income-reduced, young adults, families—they’re all here in this neighborhood. There’s a college on one end, a mix of restaurants and a hardware store within walking distance and the new restaurant across the street from us. But mostly, I’ve loved getting to know the people who care about each other and about living here. It’s great to have the opportunity to hear about their lives, see their space and have someone say hello as you go to get the mail. Living in a community is an incredible thing.

Good Friends

Samantha Gratton

Short and sweet tonight – I am quite grateful for friends, even those in far away places. Some days I can still feel distant and misplaced here. Certainly not all of the days, and we do truly feel that this is home. But every once in a while you hear from a friend who’s known you for so many years that you don’t even have to think about what you’re saying. They’ve heard the good and bad, silly and strange. Even on days when I don’t know quite where I fit or what my purpose always is, I’m so glad for the friendships that allow me to just be myself.

Nitty Gritty

Samantha Gratton

Sometimes you’ve got to cut to the core. Go straight to the heart of an issue. Real relationships can’t be sustained on surface level weekend updates or meaningless buzzfeed articles passed from one to another. Those things are fine and good, but it’s not really real.

We all have life going on. Sometimes we go through seasons of pain and hardships as humans. Sometimes we have a lighter load. Either way, we need to be ready to go deeper.

Make it the right time, right place and right person, but you have to go there. You need to be willing to listen and support. Equally so, you need be ready to return the transparency. This doesn’t mean a social media unload where all of your friends can comment in panic. It’s a heart-to-heart with a friend who cares. Someone who’s willing to stand by you and help however they can. Find that friend. Be that friend. Live out that friendship. Let’s get real. Even if it’s hard.

Thursday Three

Samantha Gratton

You can’t tell me you thought I’d quit the Thursday Three just because I’m blogging every day of the month, did you? Let’s break it down. It’s time for Thursday Three. Although, in all fairness these cannot be fully hashed out community/relationships/connections pieces because I intend to go into greater detail at a later date.

1. The weekend under-the-weather bug hit our home. Our at least, last  weekend we both had some sort of sickness whereas the week before the hubby was sick and this week I’ve been struggling. We’ve each been fighting a cold/virus of some sort and can’t quite seem to kick it. To top it off, I got sick in ways all too familiar for my little stomach. Bleh. But you know what? Being sick is just another reminder of how relationships can be contagious. Sounds corny but the impact you can have on each other can be so great and proximity always seems to help. Alright, so that’s not really where I was going with that but the blog about sickness and community is too long to explain in the three.

2. Weeknights should be celebrated. Sometimes I think we get in our routines or have obligations and chores and forget to live during the week. I’m totally guilty of this. But even though we had a very low-key weekend, I can’t even decide what I’d rather talk about because our week seemed so full and rich. We spent time with friends, shared a meal, went to yet another concert and still somehow managed to clean up the kitchen. Don’t wait to live life only on the weekends. I’m so grateful for all we did this week and it’s made a difference during the workday (although admittedly, we lacked a little more sleep).

3. Fun fact: Kids shoes are way cheaper. Also fun: Apparently I can fit in TOMS kids shoe size 4. It feels like I’ve discovered the secret to life. Or at least to shoe shopping. Tonight I snagged a new pair for half the price of a normal pair and was beyond excited. What really sweetened the deal though was making a new friend. The girl who rang me up is new to the area which led to me very bluntly ask, “Do you need friends?” Sometimes even I am shocked at my forward friending tactics. We’re hanging out next week. Yep, that’s happening.

Learning, Growing and Life Changing

Samantha Gratton

Tuesday nights I leave work a little early and zip over to one of our area universities to learn all about nonprofit management. There I get to hear all about how nonprofits are supposed to work, some of the things they are great at and some of the things they’ve really messed up. All in all, it’s a good class (although I still haven’t fully adjusted to having homework looming over my head and all of my expert procrastinating skills have proven to be fully intact). I’ve learned a lot of things that maybe seem like common sense but also a lot of new perspectives on how some things happen the way they do in the nonprofit world. None of them are perfect. Actually, it’s a wonder some of them still manage to exist. Power, greed, scandal, disorganization, bankruptcy, fraud— you name it, the nonprofits in the world have probably struggled with it.

But there they are. There to serve the people, teach the children and fix the dogs. They do things that our government can’t (or won’t or shouldn’t) and allow individuals to be a bigger part of something than themselves. You’re looking to connect to people? To be a part of a community? Go ahead and start here.

Somewhere between 25-30% of adults volunteer in the U.S. I know we have jobs and lives and friends and whatnot. I know, I really do. And I’m not saying all nonprofits automatically make it good or worthwhile. The point isn’t volunteering somewhere for the sake of your resume or a bumper sticker. Be involved somewhere that isn’t about you getting something out of it. Yes, maybe you’ll learn and grow and have a changed life because of it, but volunteer so that someone else can learn and grow and have a changed life because of it.

These are the kind of relationships and connections we need more of in the world. Because people matter.

Dreaming Dreams

Samantha Gratton

The other night I got together with a friend. She recently relocated and is spending some time trying to figure out what’s next in life. There’s so many directions her life could go and it’s exciting. It’s also a mix of crazy and sometimes scary that there are so many possibilities, but it was great to hear she’s taking the time to sort it out.

Sometimes we’re encouraged to consider our dreams. To seek them out, to pursue them. I think it’s important to acknowledge and write them down and assess what you’re dreaming about. What’s also important though is to hear the dreams of the people around you. What are your co-workers aiming for? Where do your neighbors see themselves in five years? And what do your friends wish and hope and pray for?

I think knowing someone’s dreams and hopes and goals allows you to connect with them in entirely new ways. You begin to understand more of what makes them tick, why certain things can come as an excitement or disappointment. There’s hopes I know some of my friends have, but I don’t think I sit back often enough and just ask the question of what are you dreaming about? 

Creator of Relationships

Samantha Gratton

I’ve been thinking about connections with people, the relationships we form and why they matter. Today in church something clicked that I don’t know had clicked before. We were talking about the very beginning, when God created the earth and animals and people. In regards to people:

“So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.” – Genesis 1:27

Our pastor started listing off the things we have in common with God, being made in His image. Longing for relationships.

We as humans long for relationships with others, just as God wants a relationship with us. So to truly understand a relationship with someone else, we need a relationship with the one who created relationships. The one who created and understands the desire for relationships. The one who created the connections we share within those relationships. There’s a connection between us and God because we were created in His image. Automatically have something in common with the creator of the universe because He planned it that way.

Is that not the coolest? I mean, really.

31 Days

Samantha Gratton

Apparently this is the month to blog. I caught on a day or two late to the fact that many of my friends (I could call them blogging friends but let’s be real, I don’t have any blogging friends who aren’t already my real friends) are linking up with the 31 days of blogging. I love it. I’m so glad that someone said hey, let’s blog every day. Blogs aren’t as notable as books but in my opinion, they’re better than journals. I’m never going to hit it big in the blogging world, but I love having a little space to write and know someone else can read it. I’m glad there are hundreds of others blogging this month focusing every day on a topic.

If you were to blog everyday about something what would it be? What’s on your heart or in your head? What I love most about blogs is the ability they have to connect people, to help them see another perspective or to share one. Too often with social media or comments and forums it tears people down and rants it all out. Let’s see just how much building and connecting we can do together instead. Lo and behold, I’ve blogged every day of October already so let’s just keep it going. I can’t say what each post might contain but I want to find the connection with people, the ways we relate. I want to see how my life can strengthen and support the lives of others. Let’s call it 31 days of why people matter more. I want to find the ways that we can encourage each other, the things we struggle with and what we love. 

Thursday Three (times two)

Samantha Gratton

Alas, last week I did not post a Thursday Three. I had dinner with a friend instead, so by the time I got home the night had slipped away. To keep consistency though, let’s just make this week’s a two-for-one and call it even.

1. We spent approximately 6 hours and half a paycheck at Ikea. Passed the ultimate relationship test. We’ve been before, but never with the intention of buying much more than a shelf or two. There are certainly no photos of such a hardship, but it was really fun…at least until around the time that we hit the frames section and our stamina began to fade. I think next time we might skip the showroom just to conserve energy so we can really optimize our time in the warehouse.

2. We saw two fantastic shows within the same week. We went first to see Sigur Ros, the Icelandic band that plays Hoppipolla…the same song I walked down the aisle to. Seeing the band play it live with the pretty lights and the misty rain brought a few tears to my eyes.  It was beautiful. And then it started pouring. We were both pretty soaked by the end of the night but glad we got to go. Then a mere four days later we saw the band FUN. with some friends. We didn’t know all the music but they played a good show that we could all dance and sing along to. We’re so glad to live somewhere with so many amazing bands coming through on a regular basis.

3. Our weekend trip to Charlotte also meant a visit with friends. It’s funny how it all worked out really, but the hubby’s boss beat us down to North Carolina last year and ended up taking a job in Charlotte. Now we get to call them friends and stay with them when we’re in town. I wish I had a picture of their smiling faces because we were thrilled with the chance to see them and hope to return soon (and not even hit Ikea next time). I’m going to get all gushy and say what a blessing it is (and has been) to have them in our lives.

Okay, ready for this? Thursday Three all over again. Let’s review this week’s three.

1. Yesterday we celebrated three years of marriage. Three whole years. We took the night and reminisced through year three, month by month. We’ve changed jobs, moved (across town this time), traveled the coast, made life decisions and everything that goes with it. It’s hard sometimes, but I’m glad we get to be married to each other. It was great to walk across the street to the newly opened restaurant and enjoy the night together.

2. It’s fun having friends for neighbors and neighbors as friends. We spent most of the weekend just hanging out with them, running errands, throwing frisbees and sharing meals together.

3. It’s finally October. September was not easy. It was busy and stressful and full of misunderstandings and disappointments. August wasn’t much better. But October has always been a favorite month of mine, so I am grateful that it’s here and ready to welcome the crisp air (once it comes) and pumpkin flavored everything in the stores.