two weeks of an update

What I Have

Samantha Gratton

The last week, two weeks, month have been a total blur. I made mention of my job situation in the beginning of May, but it didn’t stop there. About a week later my grandma passed away. A grandma who was dearly loved but had suffered with Parkinson’s disease for far too long. Suddenly I found myself with more time than I could have imagined, enabling me to make a trip back to the Midwest to be with family. As much as I feel like I should sit around wallowing sometimes, I’m grateful that the timing of things worked out the way it did. 

What now? Time will tell. With everything going on, I haven’t really had the time to reflect on it all and come up with my plans, goals and dreams for the future. I have, however, been able to spend time with some wonderful people who have been so encouraging and considerate. I am surrounded by so much good, it’s unbelievable. Selfishly, I want to act as though everything in life isn’t fair. When those little waves of panic hit where I realize I have no idea what tomorrow will look like, I want to hide under the covers and cry for a good long time. For fleeting moments I want to shout “woe is me!” or throw a fit at the injustices of the world. But I can’t. I have so much. People have shown incredible love and care for me/us. My life is good. I have such joy. 

Sometimes I worry that saying it out loud will cause something else bad to happen just to test me.Sure, I’m tired and stressed and unsure of what my future holds. I haven’t slept much lately and still get sick from time to time. I doubt my abilities and question my dreams. I don’t know where all of this is going, and it completely freaks me out sometimes. Saying I have joy doesn’t mean it has been easy. I want it to all be better, to suddenly come together all tied up with a bow, just because I’m still smiling about it. But I don’t get that guarantee. None of us do. 

So, bear with me as I will likely have ups and downs while facing the unknown. Today though, let’s focus on the joy. 

Thursday Three (times two)

Samantha Gratton

Alas, last week I did not post a Thursday Three. I had dinner with a friend instead, so by the time I got home the night had slipped away. To keep consistency though, let’s just make this week’s a two-for-one and call it even.

1. We spent approximately 6 hours and half a paycheck at Ikea. Passed the ultimate relationship test. We’ve been before, but never with the intention of buying much more than a shelf or two. There are certainly no photos of such a hardship, but it was really fun…at least until around the time that we hit the frames section and our stamina began to fade. I think next time we might skip the showroom just to conserve energy so we can really optimize our time in the warehouse.

2. We saw two fantastic shows within the same week. We went first to see Sigur Ros, the Icelandic band that plays Hoppipolla…the same song I walked down the aisle to. Seeing the band play it live with the pretty lights and the misty rain brought a few tears to my eyes.  It was beautiful. And then it started pouring. We were both pretty soaked by the end of the night but glad we got to go. Then a mere four days later we saw the band FUN. with some friends. We didn’t know all the music but they played a good show that we could all dance and sing along to. We’re so glad to live somewhere with so many amazing bands coming through on a regular basis.

3. Our weekend trip to Charlotte also meant a visit with friends. It’s funny how it all worked out really, but the hubby’s boss beat us down to North Carolina last year and ended up taking a job in Charlotte. Now we get to call them friends and stay with them when we’re in town. I wish I had a picture of their smiling faces because we were thrilled with the chance to see them and hope to return soon (and not even hit Ikea next time). I’m going to get all gushy and say what a blessing it is (and has been) to have them in our lives.

Okay, ready for this? Thursday Three all over again. Let’s review this week’s three.

1. Yesterday we celebrated three years of marriage. Three whole years. We took the night and reminisced through year three, month by month. We’ve changed jobs, moved (across town this time), traveled the coast, made life decisions and everything that goes with it. It’s hard sometimes, but I’m glad we get to be married to each other. It was great to walk across the street to the newly opened restaurant and enjoy the night together.

2. It’s fun having friends for neighbors and neighbors as friends. We spent most of the weekend just hanging out with them, running errands, throwing frisbees and sharing meals together.

3. It’s finally October. September was not easy. It was busy and stressful and full of misunderstandings and disappointments. August wasn’t much better. But October has always been a favorite month of mine, so I am grateful that it’s here and ready to welcome the crisp air (once it comes) and pumpkin flavored everything in the stores.