moving peaces

Writing and Littles

Writing and Littles

Samantha Gratton

It’s one of those nights where if I don’t write now I’ll probably burst into a million letters and commas—and especially em dashes.

So often I feel like a writer without a home. Not without a literal home because we live in an adorable little rental (emphasis on the “little”) in my favorite part of town (hence the reason why we might not ever leave). As a writer though, I don’t always know where I best fit.

My writing floats throughout the internet searching for meaningful pages to land on and hopefully, for eyeballs to read it and hearts to connect with. I work with publications who print articles featuring my very own byline and clients who want some ghost writing with their names at the top—both of which enable me to type away and even earn a few bucks on the side. But it doesn’t always feel like mine. Then this blog, this space, is technically my own. But I can get caught up in who my audience is or which friend, family member, or potential client might misinterpret my spilled out thoughts or carefully crafted post. My inhibitions take over, and I quarantine my words and expressive phrases to my mind or perhaps a google doc.

Almost seven years ago when I first started this blog called Moving Peaces it was to document a potential cross-country move. “Moving” was obviously for the literal move at the time. Then “Peaces” was my ever-so-clever play on words while also giving a nod to a desire to live peacefully despite my fears of the unknowns.  Now, I can’t imagine moving away from this house, let alone across state lines anytime soon. Instead my movement is small but constant as I chase around a toddler and tend to a newborn. And peace? Well sometimes it’s found in the mere moments when both kids are sleeping…before I remember I need to do more laundry or finally take a shower.

Some days I feel the thoughts rearranging into complete sentences or concepts in my head, but my hands are too full to type. Other days my mind feels so numb and tired that by the time I have the opportunity to write, nothing comes to mind. Yet if asked what I do for work or where my core creativity lies, my reply comes swiftly, “I’m a writer.”

Life is full of different seasons, and I try to live in the season I’m in at the moment. Sometimes seasons last a few months, while sometimes they last a few years. Right now I’m unmistakably in the season of littles. Little hearts, little hands, little (and big) messes. Which also means little time, little opportunity, and little energy left at the end of the day. At times, it feels like only a little bit of me as I wrestle with what I prioritize and what I let go of when facing my current limitations and obligations.

Writing is one of those things that feels so innate to me, yet in this season it also feels fleeting.  As I strive toward a better understanding of where my writing belongs, I also have a few little hearts to care for—hearts belonging to littles, who belong to me. So perhaps I’m the writer currently in between assignments, or in a different season, or caught somewhere in between the lines. Yet somehow I know—deep in my bones—that one day this writing will find its proper home.

 

 

Many Things

Many Things

Samantha Gratton

 

Many Things | Moving Peaces

I often get asked what my blog is about and all I want to say in return is, “many things.” It’s about life, it’s about dreams and goals. It currently talks more about jobs and a little about travel because those are the big things in my life right now. When I’m going through a reading phase I review a few books. What started as a chronicle regarding a cross-country move developed into a space to share my hopes and disappointments as I navigated the life to follow. I have done my fair share of questioning what my real purpose is at times. I can’t say that I am incredibly fashion-conscious nor do I spend enough time crafting, but I dabble in both from time to time (but don’t ever expect a recipe…that is just not my thing). This blog is all the things because it’s about life. Where I am right now and what I’m thinking through.

I have a hard time committing to just one thing with my life. “My thing” will never be any one thing that I just listed off. In fact, very few people have just one but sometimes we feel like it should be that way. I am many things and sometimes I move on sooner even than I ought to do tackle the next life lesson or big project.

No, I cannot do just one thing. But I can aim to make all of those things glorify God.

I won’t say this is a blog that just writes all about being spiritual, nor will I ever say my faith is off the table when it comes to talking about life. This is where I write about all the things and it would be a shame if I didn’t acknowledge the biggest thing in my life.

I’ve found that being upfront about things seems to make it easier on everyone. So, in case you were wondering what my blog is about–it’s about so many things. Because that’s what life looks like, so many things.

Moving Part Six: Settle in and Reflect

Moving Part Six: Settle in and Reflect

Samantha Gratton

Packed Truck | Moving Peaces

To wrap up this series on moving (at least for now), I wanted to make sure to touch on a very important part of the process–giving it time. Time to settle in, time to reflect, time to consider everything that just happened…even years later.

Part 6: Settle in and Reflect

The act of moving does not happen overnight. Maybe you got from point A to point B within one day of travel, but such an involved process takes time. Allow yourself time to get used to everything. Don’t strain to unpack everything right away. You will need to get used to your surroundings, from getting acquainted with the grocery store to discovering your new routine. It will take time to feel comfortable with it all. All the while, you will be trying to make new friends and likely be pushed outside of your comfort zone.

Keep busy, but not only with tasks and chores. Find time to take a walk around your neighborhood. Try a new coffee shop and visit a local attraction. Give yourself time to get to know your new community, even though you might feel like a tourist looking in. This will help you to better acclimate and come to love your new surroundings.

Since moving, I have found our favorite bakery, favorite pizza place, favorite coffee shop and have a running list of places I have yet to go to.

After a certain amount of time (6 months to a year and then again two years later), consider your decision to move. Was it the right one? Are you glad you moved? Is this where you want to stay for awhile? Do you want to go back? Allow yourself the opportunity to reflect on all you have done and learned in this time.

For me, Raleigh is the place to be. It’s perfectly surrounded by so much culture and activity in the Triangle, all while managing to be a few hours away from the beach. While pollen season was a new experience, I don’t miss the cold or the snow (which is increasingly apparent at this time of the year). My neighborhood has proven to be the perfect place to live, and I have made some great friends.

What’s your moving story?

Moving Part 5: Follow Through

Samantha Gratton

Packed Truck | Moving Peaces

It’s been awhile since the last post on the moving process due to the 31 days project in October, but I’ve still got a few more steps to talk about. After our move from Iowa to North Carolina essentially on a whim, we got a lot of questions on what all went into the process and love hearing about the moving experiences of others.  If you’re new to the series and feel like starting at the beginning, here’s Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.

Part 5: Follow through

The divide between steps four and five marks the difference between dreaming and doing. If you are going to move, then this requires actually moving before claiming a new home or state of residence. Granted, this can take months or even years, depending on the circumstances.

This part can be exhausting and stressful. It requires a lot of decisions, details and money. There are all sorts of tips and tricks you try to implement as you stuff boxes, pack the truck and drive off toward your new home.

To make it happen, we were constantly burning the midnight oil as we tried to finish up our obligations, make lasting memories and gain closure, all while seriously preparing to move halfway across the country.

To keep your sanity, here’s what I would recommend doing in the biggest stage of them all:

  • Make a list – there will be far too many details to keep straight and this will help you sleep a little better at night
  • Reduce your haul – have a garage sale, donate items or have your friends over to pass along anything you no longer need
  • Say goodbye – we invited everyone we knew to come over for one last barbeque at our house the day before we moved…some might find that crazy but it gave us some closure
  • Set a date – it has to happen and you will need a date to start sorting through the details of the moving truck and places to stay as you transition
  • Don’t rush into a housing decision – there are so many decisions to make and you might not be ready to finalize the place you want to live for the next several years, especially from afar. Consider short-term housing, a storage unit or extra trips beforehand to visit the area and confirm the right place to go.
  • Plan for leeway – the schedule might get thrown or your stress level might require a few extra take-out meals and chocolate so try to budget in as much extra time and money you can to alleviate some stress when something inevitably comes up
Moving Part 4: Making it “official”

Moving Part 4: Making it “official”

Samantha Gratton

Packed Truck | Moving Peaces

As a continuation of my series about moving, here’s a little lesson on breaking the news. If you missed earlier posts in the series you can check them out here: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

It all feels like a dream until you start telling people. It should feel like a dream for a little while. Dream away. Because once you start spreading the news, people will have questions and even more so, they will have comments. For instance, one friend told us we were crazy, to our faces and then walked away. Someone seemed to hardly find it interesting and kept talking about how good their soup was. Others were shocked and said very little, but some immediately celebrated with us and for us. We just never knew how someone would respond.

So, think through what your plan is and then tell people in stages, starting with those closest to you. I had talked about the desire to move for years, so to some it was not much of a surprise. For others, sharing the news about a move can seem monumental to those first hearing about it. It’s important to get some feedback along the way though, which is why it is helpful to share it with those you trust and love first. The more you share your plans and story, the more you will get a better idea of just what you are about to do means to you.

Further, don’t just think about what your plan is but have an actual plan. Without it, people will quickly tire of this “official” stage when you haven’t yet hit the “it’s really happening” stage.

Somewhat contrary to what I just said, here is the order in which my husband and I broke the news.

  1. Landlord (our lease required a 60-day notice, but otherwise, he was not the closest person in our lives)
  2. Parents
  3. Close friends (limited details)
  4. Siblings
  5. Close friends (extensive details)
  6. Friends
  7. Employers
  8. Commitments (i.e. utility company, volunteer organizations, bands, book club)
  9. Extended family
  10. Social media

The order of your list might be different but it is good to consider what your timeline will be based on your comfort and your responsibilities.

Have you had to break the news about a move? How did you do it and how did it go?

Moving Part 3: Lining up Logistics

Samantha Gratton

Packed Truck

Based on our move across the country two years ago, I’ve started writing a little more about what all went into our move and some of the steps I’d recommend considering when making such a decision. Are you new to the series? Feel free to check out part 1 or part 2 first.

Part 3: Lining up Logistics

Logistics in a move may include selling your house, saving money, finding a new job or fulfilling prior obligations before going through with it. For some, it might even be realizing that the timing is off and needing to table it for another time in life. (At one point, this where we were at despite all my best efforts. Ultimately, the timing was best when I wasn’t trying to force it). All of these are understandable reasons to delay or decide against a move. If it comes down to that, be honest about it. Maybe you tried skipping a few steps but you weren’t actually ready yet for whatever reason.

When we decided to move, we had been saving money away for years, were renting our house and knew we were moving to an area with a good economic climate. Our situation is not the same for everyone else. We were able to move without jobs lined up, which, albeit scary, worked out. Sometimes, that is not a possibility, and that’s okay.

If you are looking for jobs, consider making it clear when you plan to move by providing dates if possible. Or explain your reasons for choosing to move to the area in your cover letter so your potential future employer knows you aren’t just applying to jobs at random.

For us, lining up logistics meant researching the area we were going to and starting to understand what the business climate was, what the cost of living would be and talking to anyone we knew who had lived in that part of the country. We had far fewer logistics than most people might have, which was partly why this was the right time in life for us to move. No house, no kids, no debt.

Having any one of those things is not necessarily a deal breaker, just something to consider. If you own your home, consider your options by putting your house up for sale or maybe, up for rent with a local management company. With debt, it may be worthwhile to work towards paying off your debt before a move so you have more freedom and flexibility. With kids, I cannot give a lot of guidance as we don’t have any kids yet, but I’m guessing you’ll have a few more logistics to work out depending on their ages and needs. As I said, we didn’t have these three things, so lining up these details may look very different for you.

Instead, we had to overcome the hurdle and insecurities that came with moving without a job or sense of security on the other side. We had to go back and fully understand our intentions, which meant repeating parts one and two quite frequently.

This an incredibly tricky step in the process. It can be exhausting and disheartening. For some this stage takes weeks and for others, this can take years. Try to stay positive through it all, but also realize your limitations and manage your expectations as much as possible.

 

Moving Part 2: Finding a Location

Samantha Gratton

Packed Truck

Based the questions I am often fielding about our move, I’ve written up a few parts of the moving process. You can start reading it wherever it is most helpful but if you’re particular about following the order, you can start with Part 1: Deciding to Move.

Part 2: Finding a Location

For some, this part of the process is dictated by outside factors. This may include a job offer, a family tie or something out of your control. If so, this part will look different. Finding a location will mean, finding a job or family tie or whatever it is that is calling you and then sorting out the details to make it a reality.

For me, I needed to sort through what I wanted in a place. Criteria can range from the size of the town to the weather in the winter.

The following contributed to our list of criteria:

  • Near geographic interest (i.e. mountains or ocean)
  • Warmer weather year-round
  • Bigger city than current location or nearby one
  • Within 20 minutes of a Target and within an hour of Trader Joe’s
  • Music and arts culture

Having criteria helps, but it does not automatically give you the answer. There were several cities that fit this description. For some, several options is a positive thing and can lead to more opportunities in the job search. For others, it can be difficult to plan without a narrowed search or a clear direction. Moving can be a complicated process with a lot of planning involved, so it’s best to go with what you are more comfortable with.

The final push for Raleigh came because of these key factors:

  • It showed up on similar “Best City for…” lists as Des Moines. Knowing we liked Des Moines helped us realize this would be something we would like.
  • Family would be three hours away, which we knew would be helpful
  • We had some familiarity with that region of the country, although limited knowledge of Raleigh itself

Moving Part 1: Deciding to Move

Samantha Gratton

Moving | Moving Peaces

Two years ago, I moved to North Carolina from Iowa. I am constantly being asked why I moved and when seeing a bunch of family and friends from the Midwest I have to give reasons that they may never see or understand.

Anyone else moved outside of the state? What was your reason? Well, I didn’t have reasons like that. [Okay, maybe that’s a big assumption. But the point is, I didn’t move for the normal reasons of a job or family.]

I thought I would put together some of the considerations to make when you move, how to do it and why I love where I live now.

Part 1: Deciding to move

This should never be taken lightly. It changes your friends, neighborhood, job and sometimes even your hobbies.

How do you know if a move is right for you?

Ask yourself why you want to move. Is it to pursue a dream or a passion? Go after growth in your life? Have you felt a calling to a particular part of the world? Is an opportunity available?

Before deciding to move, it’s important to understand where you live currently and what its pros and cons are. That way, you have something to go off of as you make your decision. Do you like the community feel? Is there a good arts and music culture or a solid career path ahead of you? Is the job market good? Is your house your favorite place in the world? Are you sure you want to actually move?

While I lived in Des Moines and loved it, I knew it was time to step out and find the best fit for me at a time in my life when I could take a risk. For us, that meant no kids, no house and no debt.

If you are considering making a move, I’d start by really understanding your motivation and then assessing your current situation.

Ready for more?

Part 2: Finding a Location

Part 3: Lining up Logistics

Part 4: Making it “official”

Part 5: Follow Through

Part 6: Settle in and Reflect

 

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365 days later

Samantha Gratton

A year ago today we arrived in the Raleigh area. We had been in North Carolina just shy of three weeks and were ready to take on our new surroundings. On August 27th we drove into town, rented a truck and started the transition into our new life. We gathered all of our belongings from a storage unit and hired a guy to help us move it into our new apartment. Amidst the heat, our fish died and between that, the suffocating humidity and the magnitude of our duties for the remainder of the day, we contemplated a few tears. But all in all, we knew it was the start of something new, brand new. New jobs were on the table, a new (to us) couch was in the truck and North Carolina had just gained two new residents.

We laughed and cried, fought and made up, grieved our losses and celebrated our successes…all of the Hallmark emotions were there. Throughout the year, we rediscovered why we were best friends, as well as why we still need other friends. We attended festivals and parties and became incredibly bold in “friending” people, not just in the social media sense. We found new jobs and left the jobs we had when we first arrived. We checked out schools and planned for our future, not knowing how different it would later be, yet still managed to both attend school a year later. We found a church that we visited on accident, only to become a bigger part of it than we imagined. We saw several East Coast cities and maybe even managed to find our favorite seafood restaurant near the beach. We bought a new fish and tried new hobbies. Holidays were different—we didn’t have a tree but we still had our annual Christmas card. Somewhere along the way we made new friends and kept in contact with some of our old friends, just in a different way than before.

Today was the last day in our apartment. Thankfully, the bulk of our stuff has already been moved. By our new friends. To our new (rented) house. A year later and here we are—still loving living here. This new place seems to solidify it a little more for us. We want to settle in and invest in our community. We want to call this home and put down roots.  We felt the little inklings last year that it was a turning point in our lives, and now we know that to be true. It’s been a great (hard/interesting/challenging/different/crazy/surprising/strange/wonderful) year here, and we’re excited for year two and all it might bring.