reflections

365 days later

Samantha Gratton

A year ago today we arrived in the Raleigh area. We had been in North Carolina just shy of three weeks and were ready to take on our new surroundings. On August 27th we drove into town, rented a truck and started the transition into our new life. We gathered all of our belongings from a storage unit and hired a guy to help us move it into our new apartment. Amidst the heat, our fish died and between that, the suffocating humidity and the magnitude of our duties for the remainder of the day, we contemplated a few tears. But all in all, we knew it was the start of something new, brand new. New jobs were on the table, a new (to us) couch was in the truck and North Carolina had just gained two new residents.

We laughed and cried, fought and made up, grieved our losses and celebrated our successes…all of the Hallmark emotions were there. Throughout the year, we rediscovered why we were best friends, as well as why we still need other friends. We attended festivals and parties and became incredibly bold in “friending” people, not just in the social media sense. We found new jobs and left the jobs we had when we first arrived. We checked out schools and planned for our future, not knowing how different it would later be, yet still managed to both attend school a year later. We found a church that we visited on accident, only to become a bigger part of it than we imagined. We saw several East Coast cities and maybe even managed to find our favorite seafood restaurant near the beach. We bought a new fish and tried new hobbies. Holidays were different—we didn’t have a tree but we still had our annual Christmas card. Somewhere along the way we made new friends and kept in contact with some of our old friends, just in a different way than before.

Today was the last day in our apartment. Thankfully, the bulk of our stuff has already been moved. By our new friends. To our new (rented) house. A year later and here we are—still loving living here. This new place seems to solidify it a little more for us. We want to settle in and invest in our community. We want to call this home and put down roots.  We felt the little inklings last year that it was a turning point in our lives, and now we know that to be true. It’s been a great (hard/interesting/challenging/different/crazy/surprising/strange/wonderful) year here, and we’re excited for year two and all it might bring.

Finish Year

Samantha Gratton

It’s 2013. People have mostly made their resolutions and maybe even already broken them. That’s the beauty of holding out a few weeks. I can hopefully have better luck sticking with it. While I haven’t set all my goals yet for this year, I did dig up last year’s list. How I managed to locate the page in the middle of one of the dozens of miscellaneous notebooks is beyond me but I was glad to find it regardless. It’s titled Finish Year based on a little Jon Acuff encouragement, but otherwise, it’s a resolution list by any other name.

So how did I do? Almost better than I could have hoped! Woot! Here’s the list from last year and how I tackled it.

  • Music: Record 2 songs. While they weren’t the songs I thought they would be, the hubby and I did put out some Christmas songs this year as well as a few other originals. He did most of the heavy lifting, but hey, it happened!
  • Exercise: 500 Miles. While the miles could be anything (elliptical/biking/running/etc.) I quickly realized that biking was my favorite. It led to a day of Ragbrai—a long time goal of mine—and I was so glad for the opportunity! I kept a tally on the fridge and hit 500 miles even without the 85 at Ragbrai. I’ll admit to losing count after 500, but it did happen. Not to mention, I really got into the habit of going to some fun classes like Zumba or weight lifting and that didn’t count towards anything. Extra bonus: the hubby got into it too and we got to spend plenty of weekends biking around town together.
  • Spiritual: Bible reading. Alright.This happened but not to the extent that I wanted it to or would like it to. I’d try and commit to a book of the Bible and then get distracted or find excuses. So, this was not one I’m checking off the list, but one I will pray to be better at. In high school I made the resolution on year to read my Bible every day—and I did it too. But I noticed then that it became something I did out of obligation. This year I’m praying to find the right balance. I want it to be part of my daily life but I also want it to be real and focused. 
  • Cleaning: Purge all things not wanted in a potential move. Yes, this was a goal well before we knew we were moving. We knew we wanted to move but had no idea if it would be in 2 months or 10 years. So can I get some credit for moving? Yeah! We did do some major purging, or so I thought before we moved. And then we got here and said, we need to do that again (the purging part). So this is a little like the last one—it’s moving forward and I’d say it happened but it’s a work in progress. This week I’m hoping to do some major clearing out of our closets.
  • Photography: Build a portfolio. I’m still figuring out what part photography will play in my life. At one point I loved it. And then I found myself inhibited by my own fears and expectations. Is it something I should really pursue? Do I like it as a business opportunity or just as a hobby? I did do a family shoot in 2012 and am considering what to do with it this year. 
  • Food: 1. A week-long juice and raw foods fast. 2. Go two weeks without chocolate or sweets. This happened! I did the raw diet. It was tough but did help. I learned later though that the juice should be more veggie based than fruit to be really effective and also that it takes a while for your stomach to adjust. I did notice that during the weeks I went without chocolate/sweets I felt good. I’ll probably try to do short-term detoxes again but let’s be real, I have a sweet tooth and the idea of cutting more out of my diet permanently is just a little rough.

The List

Samantha Gratton

Ever since we started talking seriously about moving, I’ve been considering “the list” – which of course consists of everything we need to do before we go. In order to do that, one must first define what it means to be from around here. What do I need to do here before going there? Which of these things declare my obvious residency and lack of tourist naivete? And then, do you do things you’ve done 100 times just one last time? Or do you do things you’ve never done but have heard you should do?

…

Over a month ago when I first drafted the above paragraph, I had high hopes of achieving the impossible. I wanted to live and breathe Des Moines, the state of Iowa and the entire Midwest as much as I could. While in theory it may be a good idea, it just can’t happen. Sure, I’ll try to see a few people in the next few weeks and use all of our Groupons, but we’ve got to start thinking about what’s ahead. There’s preparations to make, jobs to find and a house to pack. Not to mention, current jobs still to work and everyday life to live.

I think sometimes I try too hard to pack it all in. I’m constantly thinking that I’ve gotten better about overcoming my tendency to over-schedule. But I still find myself running around trying to do it all and pretending that in the end it will be worth it and we’ll be happier and better because of it. It’s the same trap every time. Instead, we wind up exhausted and annoyed about our commitments regardless how fun they may actually end up being. So, I think we will have to remember Iowa for the memories it’s already provided instead of the ones I was going to try and cram in during our final days. I can’t deny that our last week here is already packed full, but I will vow to try to reign in on the incidentals. These days aren’t about discovering Des Moines – they’re for spending time with established friends, packing and prepping to move and most importantly, being together through it all.