Moving Part 4: Making it “official”

September 28, 2014September 28, 2014Samantha Gratton

As a continuation of my series about moving, here’s a little lesson on breaking the news. If you missed earlier posts in the series you can check them out here: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

It all feels like a dream until you start telling people. It should feel like a dream for a little while. Dream away. Because once you start spreading the news, people will have questions and even more so, they will have comments. For instance, one friend told us we were crazy, to our faces and then walked away. Someone seemed to hardly find it interesting and kept talking about how good their soup was. Others were shocked and said very little, but some immediately celebrated with us and for us. We just never knew how someone would respond.

So, think through what your plan is and then tell people in stages, starting with those closest to you. I had talked about the desire to move for years, so to some it was not much of a surprise. For others, sharing the news about a move can seem monumental to those first hearing about it. It’s important to get some feedback along the way though, which is why it is helpful to share it with those you trust and love first. The more you share your plans and story, the more you will get a better idea of just what you are about to do means to you.

Further, don’t just think about what your plan is but have an actual plan. Without it, people will quickly tire of this “official” stage when you haven’t yet hit the “it’s really happening” stage.

Somewhat contrary to what I just said, here is the order in which my husband and I broke the news.

Landlord (our lease required a 60-day notice, but otherwise, he was not the closest person in our lives)
Parents
Close friends (limited details)
Siblings
Close friends (extensive details)
Friends
Employers
Commitments (i.e. utility company, volunteer organizations, bands, book club)
Extended family
Social media

The order of your list might be different but it is good to consider what your timeline will be based on your comfort and your responsibilities.

Have you had to break the news about a move? How did you do it and how did it go?

Scoochie Mama

As you know, we wanted to move three years ago and haven’t been able to pull the trigger for various reasons. We agree with you, Samantha, that telling the whole world before everything is in place causes too many questions that you don’t have answers for. Sometimes we make our decisions on attending social events depending on how ready we are to have someone walk up to us, and before even greeting us ask, “You’re still here?!”
Rachel G

This has been a big part of our lives for the last year, as we just moved to China 2 months ago. My parents were the first to know–I was much more cautious about telling people, I only wanted to tell them when we actually had a plan or a work contract, but my husband quickly started telling family members–and I was impressed that they believed us and took us seriously. It took exactly a year from when my husband had the idea to move (and i was 100% in agreement) to when we arrived, because of logistics. Family doesn’t always like to hear the news that you’re moving to a foreign country, though.
- http://movingpeaces.com Samantha
  
  That would be a big announcement! I’m sure I would be hesitant to say anything at first too, but at the same time I suppose it might take people some getting used to the idea. How is everything going for you in China? I’ll have to check into your blog more! I spent a month there studying abroad when I was in school and it was definitely an interesting and lovely place.
http://www.lovehannahb.com Hannah

good thoughts… a month ago we started telling people that we are moving out of state in the spring… my only regret is telling people so soon- we’ve gotten quite a bit of negativity… 🙁
- http://movingpeaces.com Samantha
  
  Hang in there! We had no idea what kind of response we would get, but knew by then that it was the right thing for us. Not everyone is there though yet. I think it’s good to consider the thoughts/suggestions/advice/feedback, but ultimately know it’s your decision.
http://twitter.com/12TwentySeven Sarah (@12TwentySeven)

Definitely bookmarking this for the future! We haven’t gone through a move yet but I know it will happen so being prepared will make that transition that much easier! It sucks when some folks aren’t as excited to hear your news as you are to tell it but maybe ultimately, that will be for the best!
- http://movingpeaces.com Samantha
  
  Let me know if you ever have any questions about moving or need any help! I wrote a lot about it when we made the move and love helping when I can!
http://www.adventuresofbugandboo.com Rebecca

Oh yes, have had the big move news situation a few times – the first when I moved to NYC after university, the 2nd when I moved to London 5 years later, and the most recent a few months ago when I moved back to NY! Each time my list was relatively similar to yours (parents were usually first though, as I knew more than 60 days in advance). And it is funny how people respond in ways you wouldn’t expect!
- http://movingpeaces.com Samantha
  
  Whew! Those were BIG moves. Yeah, I’d hope you would know more than 60 days for those. 🙂 We moved on a bit of a whim when it all came down to it and realized our timeframe meant our landlord got to find out first. I still have the blog post (which was one of the first five posts for this very blog) from the day we told him. I can’t imagine doing that though for an international move!