Well lookie here…it’s Thursday again! I’ve got a random list of things to say, so here it goes.
1. Hot chocolate goes with everything. Mondays are our days “off” but more often than not end up being catch-up work days or accomplish-this-thing-that-needs-to-get-done-anyway days. This Monday was no different, but at one point I looked up and realized how cute our matching computers and hot cocoas looked together. As someone who eats chocolate daily in one form or another, I’m pretty thrilled that we’re back to the time of the year when it’s normal to drink hot chocolate in the middle of the day.
2. My shortcomings seem all too clear right now. I am behind on everything from emails and responses to bills and birthday cards. I never fall asleep easily and my mornings are always rough. I’m almost always late no matter how hard I try. Social media makes me anxious, but I check it all too frequently. There’s distance in some of my friendships that I want to better invest in. I eat cereal for at least half of my meals each week and rarely cook. I feel like I have all of these glaring errors or awkward tendencies that I don’t know how to suppress, yet don’t we all? Maybe yours aren’t the same as mine, but I think we get into these bad hair days or “I have nothing to wear” days that leave us feeling self-conscious and unworthy. But we’re all just trying to hold it together. Social media and online identities make it easier to hide behind personas and filters, but we’ve all got our faults and failures. Having flaws doesn’t make you less of a person, it’s part of being a person. None of us have it all together or totally figured out, so don’t let anyone fool you.
3. Things are beyond our control. We had plans for this week that fell through and frankly, we were both way more disappointed than we should have been about it (umm hello, the plans involved getting free food, so yeah, we wanted that). In the end, it wasn’t a huge deal, but just felt like a reminder (or slap in the face) that so much of life is way beyond our control. We can make plans and have hope, but at the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do.
It’s been an entire week. I like writing a few things and posting them here throughout the week to shake it up, but this was just the week with which I never seemed to catch up. A mix of work, events, and friends took over instead. So to keep it interesting, let’s make this the Thursday Three of three word phrases.
1. We did it. Of the several things I’ve been working on lately, one of them just came to a close this past weekend. I got the honor and privilege to help coordinate and emcee the annual women’s event at our church. It’s been a crazy season, and I was a little worried that I wouldn’t be able to do a good job or pull it together. But thankfully, I had tons of support and a lot of grace. With two days, 130-ish women, and a great team of people, it was a wonderful weekend, and I’m so glad I got to be a part of it.
2. Write it out. I write all the time. Sometimes I wish this blog was a better reflection of all of my writing, but the truth is, I have several projects that are in process still or submitted to some random publication. Believe it or not, the Thursday Three isn’t my favorite of all of these pieces…it’s just the one that haunts me until I scramble to get it done every week. That said, I am so grateful for opportunities and prompts to write. It’s such a wonderful way to share life with people, and it’s something that makes me feel alive. Even though it takes dedication and effort, it’s worth it in order to have a creative outlet that I can share with others.
3. Wait and see. Do you ever feel like there’s a phrase or word that has been put into your heart? Right now, my phrase is simply wait and see. I don’t know what’s around the bend for me or for us, but I’m hopeful. Wait and see doesn’t mean rushed or anxious. I don’t have the answers or the plans or even much control. So all I can do now, in the best possible way and with sparkles in my eyes, is wait and see.
Oh my goodness, I’m not sure if this has ever happened before–it’s double blog day! Yep, two blogs posted on the same day. Sorry, but what’s a girl to do after writing all through the night and then it turns out still owes the people their regular Thursday blog? Double blog day it is (just don’t get used to it).
1. Encouragement can come in all forms. I was at a monthly presentation/gathering of creatives this past week and met this sprightly 73-year-old cheerleader. A cancer survivor who decided she wanted to be a cheerleader when she “grew up” now goes around telling people how great it is to be alive. Once you hear her victory cheer, you can’t help but agree.
2. Football has found a place in our home. I know, what?! Yes, you do have the right people and my musician husband is fully on board with this new trend. For whatever reason this was the year we decided it was time to watch one game a week and root for “our” team. Lucky for us, the Carolina Panthers have managed to stay undefeated so far, even though this past week’s game was a total nail-biter. Go team!
3. Every Halloween we look the same. You know, that day when people dress up in ridiculous costumes and get all excited about who they will “be” on their day off of being themselves? Yeah, well, we wear the same thing every year. Perhaps it’s laziness or as the hubby says “it’s a classic!” Therefore, he’s always Floyd the Mechanic and I’m a rodeo girl (or someone who wears bedazzled wrangler shirts with boots and pigtails). If you look at the past few years of Halloween photos, we always look the same, but sometimes what looks the same on the outside is totally different on the inside. This year’s Halloween included a “meh” pumpkin, working in costume, walking to see the most decked out house in town, and shouting out our guesses of what people’s costumes were downtown with a few friends.
Time would be measured by productivity if we were all robots. We could plow through all of the tasks and chores we have to do with no need to stop and eat or sleep. Distractions and hypothetical rabbit holes would have no place in the world. As robots, we could focus on whatever we were programmed to do.
Just think–if we were robots we could do all the things we now try and fail. There would be no such thing as a bad hair day or a bad boss. Nothing would stop us from achieving our goals, because we wouldn’t have the physical, mental, or emotional obstacles standing in our way. Doubt and fear couldn’t creep in and feelings of inadequacy wouldn’t win. There would be no putting your foot in your mouth or guilt from whatever mistake you made.
Some days, I just want to be a robot. To do everything just so and always know what to do. To work right on through my day, always checking off my to-do list. I want to never make mistakes and go after the things I was meant to do.
While this imaginary robot life might do everything right, it’s void of what makes life the wonderful thing that it is. Those moments where we struggle? That’s where the story comes in. The bad days, bad hair, and bad jobs give us something to relate about and support one another. The need to eat and sleep in turn give us reason to taste and an opportunity to dream. Distractions and thoughtful rabbit holes can lead to creativity, which brings beauty, art, and meaning into the world.
Lately I’ve poured myself into writing–writing for clients, writing for various publications, writing just for me. By the end of it, I’ve spent all of my energy writing down my thoughts and ideas with nothing left over. I look around and see a messy house, a list of to-dos long overdue, and every way that I have failed at something or with someone. I look back on my day and wonder where all the time went and why I can’t seem to get everything in order. So here I am, in the middle of the night, wishing I could be a robot. Thinking, if only I could press on through the night and skip sleep then maybe I could accomplish everything and stop disappointing people, myself included.
But we aren’t robots.
And when it comes down to it, I don’t really want to be a robot. I want this life as a human…even with the pain and mistakes, because I know it also brings beauty and joy. We get to feel and experience life, hold each other’s hands, and find laughter and grace. That beats productivity any day.
I have everything to say and nothing to tell you, so might as well ramble off three things for Thursday. Let’s do this.
1. Fall weather brings all the feels. The drizzly day that gives you an excuse to curl up on the couch, the crunchy leaves and colorful trees to break through the dark, the ability to eat outside but still require the warmth of the fire, and of course, the reintroduction of my collection of scarves back into my wardrobe. Fall has long been my favorite season, and I’m thankful it’s here.
2. There will be rest. Remember being in school and getting to the point in the semester when you realized a big break was coming up but the final exams and projects between now and that break seemed insurmountable? The break always came and somehow you managed to get through, no matter how many all-nighters, freak outs, and cups of coffee it took. That is where I’m at right now. I know that one day the break will come…maybe I’ll sleep in until lunch time or I’ll get so bored of having free time that I’ll have to pack my schedule all over again. (Okay, maybe this daydream is getting out of hand.) But this is the time of the struggle and the hard work and the effort. Not the fun part, but still important. Just like in my school days, I don’t totally know how I’ll get to a break from it all and a time of rest, but I’m confident that it will come.
3. You don’t have to be on social media every day. I realize half of you are reading this blog because it was posted there, but I really think pulling away from the nonstop feed is better. It’s such a force of habit for me and feels soothing for a minute…but I’ve also found myself feeling stung by a photo or post that frankly, doesn’t bear any actual weight on my life. That photo of a fun outing or declaration of success or request for attention just piles on until I feel less. Less interesting, less cared for, less accomplished, less informed, less fortunate, less engaged in my own life and community. The more I scroll, the less I feel I become. The good news is, we can turn off social media and just look up and talk to the people we most want to connect with instead.
Hey there. We made it to Thursday. Yes, it has been a rough week, but I have also found many sweet hidden joys within it. So let’s claim all the wins, shall we? Because no season, month, or week is all bad all the time, just like no winter is below zero degrees every day (unless you live somewhere like Antarctica, in which case, what the heck is wrong with you?) and no summer brings only sunshine. Take the good and the bad for what it is, but give yourself the opportunity to acknowledge both as it happens. Here’s a few of our wins for the week…
1. This guy is my absolute favorite. Okay, so maybe that’s not new information to anyone. But seriously. He’s awesome, and I’m so glad to spend my days with him. I won’t gush too much and risk making him blush in public, but he brings such strength, kindness, and a sense of humor to our relationship. (Not to mention, he’s super talented and dropped another free instrumental album online this week.) Here’s a snapshot from two weeks ago when we snuck in a day of sightseeing in San Francisco on our way back from visiting with family in Oregon.
2. When you’re a grown-up you get to eat cookies for breakfast. So, maybe I’ve eaten cookies for about 75% of my meals the past few days, but hey, that’s not exactly a bad thing. If we’re celebrating the wins, then let’s all cheer for chocolate chip cookies. Have no fear, this is not a long-term plan…because eventually, we’ll run out of cookies.
3. All that’s left to say is, thank you. We’ve been given so much care, concern, and compassion the past few days. While my intent was not to alarm anyone with my last post, I will admit to feeling very loved through these harder life moments lately. Writing a blog means you get to hear more of the good and the bad. My thoughts and feelings get to go somewhere, but the trick is conveying it in a way that tells the truth without getting too tripped up by the raw emotion. Thanks for all the love and support.
I believe we all want to be known. We want our lives and our stories to matter. We want others to know us, to know the way we are.
I know you.
These are the words I gave my husband this morning, on this incredibly difficult day.
We want people to know our character and our motivation. Perhaps not every moment in life or all of the details, but we want to be known. We want others to know who we are at the core, regardless of the good or bad days to come. We want them to know what we are capable of and what we can be entrusted with. We want them to know our voice and the tone we set when we walk into a room.
At times, we want the victories and the defeats to be embraced, yet there are times when regardless of having an understanding of whatever situation is at hand, we simply need grace.
This is a hard day. A bad week. A trying season.
I don’t plan to share the details or get into specifics. But I do want to know and be known. I am so grateful for the dear people in our life right now that know us, without needing to know everything. But even more so, I am glad to be known by the one who matters most.
“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” – Psalm 139:1
I’ve been gone and out and about. Here’s a quick summary of what has happened in the last two weeks.
1. Goodbyes are hard when it feels like you just said hello. A good friend of mine from college and her husband came to live in our fine state but then sadly were relocated a few months later. As much as I hated to see them go, I was so glad for the short time we had together to reunite and be a part of regular life for a time again.
2. Lots of work makes for lots of long days. That sums it up, right? Jobs, freelance work, side projects, additional work commitments–you name it. It’s not super awesome to blog about, but it’s what life has looked lately in our house…which means our actual house looks like a disaster, and we’re just hanging on one day at a time. So, if it’s been in awhile, I’m sorry. Everything feels hard to keep up with right now. I’m tired of that being the case (and tired of being tired), but it’s the reality. The little time we have in between we try to, you know, see each other and talk but even that we seem to be behind on lately. It all feels like too much, but work things seem to be the hardest things let go thanks to a desire to do good work, to provide financially, and to achieve our potential.
3. Faraway family is better in person. As much as we’re grateful for Skype, you can’t hold a baby, hug a niece, or play catch with a nephew over the internet. While it’s definitely time to be done with traveling for awhile, it was good to see these relatives on the West Coast this past week.
Okay, I’ve been pretty clear that the last six weeks have been nonstop travel. So much so that sometimes I’ve not even unpacked my bags before loading up a new one. I love to travel, but it has been a little much for me lately. Thankfully, I’m a light packer, otherwise it could really get out of hand. Regardless of where I’m headed, I tend to take about the same amount of things. Which means, my trip to Argentina, road trip across the South/Midwest and this trip to the West Coast all consisted of one carry-on sized bag for my clothes and belongings.
I know this sounds crazy, but it’s true. And you can do it, too. You learn to color coordinate, wear the same thing twice, and pack with intention. There’s other tricks I’ve used like rolling clothes or bringing laundry detergent to wash clothes in the sink, but I don’t even think it has to be that intense most of the time.
With more and more experience, I’ve found my go-to bags for such occasions and have gotten a lot of questions about them. So here’s my inventory of travel bags and suitcases that I use regularly.
This is my newest bag…the one I spent hours researching. Thankfully, it’s been a great bag to have. This was first purchased for our two-week trip to Argentina. This easily fit in buses, taxis, and overhead bins, so I was never worried that it would get lost somewhere. I would highly recommend it for anyone who will be traveling repeatedly in a short time. It suits my short size well and doesn’t allow me to overpack (which is a good thing when you’re walking around with this on your back all day). I use a packing cube, which helps keep my clothes contained and organized, but it isn’t a necessity since the bag has straps to go across it. This zips fully from top to bottom, so you have full use of the bag when packing. The sides are extremely flexible and lightweight, so it forms around what you pack without any extra bulkiness to it (the downside can be…you have to pack thoughtfully so you maintain a good balance within the bag). It has a great hip strap that gives a lot of support, but also has a cover that you can zip around the straps when you want to use it during transport (note: you have to have all straps out when you are carrying the bag on your back).
What’s the difference between this and a regular backpack? This would never be something you would want to take to school. This is not a book bag, it doesn’t have the proper structure or form for that. Likewise, a school backpack doesn’t have a structure that is incredibly conducive to great packing for travel. This is for clothes and toiletries and the essentials you need on a trip, while keeping it manageable to carry and small enough to fit on an airplane. For me, it has been the perfect travel backpack.
I’ve had this bag for awhile now. My mom may or may not originally claim it as hers, but I’ve been using it nonstop since college so it was soon mine for good. Now, why would I use this instead of a travel backpack? Convenience. Ease. Looks. There are plenty of good reasons to use a normal carry-on roller bag so don’t let some trendy travel site well you otherwise. This is the bag I pack when I don’t want to think as much about size constrictions and what goes in which pocket. I like that mine is a dark brown so it’s a bit easier to distinguish from all of the others out there, and the darker color keeps it from looking beat up too quickly like the lighter bags tend to do. It’s great for a trip to a hotel or one place where toting a roller bag around is easy. I wouldn’t recommend it for a trip that consists of multiple modes of travel or running through the streets to catch your next bus. But for a lot of trips, this works just fine, especially if you want to look a little more professional with your bag and have less wrinkles in your clothes. You don’t want to travel by backpack? Totally understandable. But in most cases I would still say you should be able to limit your items to a carry-on sized bag.
Alright, in honesty this is not my first bag of choice, but it is my husband’s (as shown above). Let me be clear in saying this is a great bag! It is set up in a way that holds the sides a bit more structured so you get the same nice form that a roller bag might have but the lightweight and backpack advantage of a travel backpack. It zips open from top to bottom, so you can lay it on the ground and pack it like you would a regular suitcase. It’s still carry-on sized so it can fit anywhere and travel easily.
So what’s not to love? For me it was too boxy. I’m 5’2″ so I felt like a turtle with too big of a shell on my back. Because of that, it didn’t allow me to move easily (which is a problem when you plan to do a lot of walking) and the support straps did not help me out. For him, this bag has been awesome. He’s about 6′ tall and the straps work great. This bag was created for all forms of travel so this is his go-to bag in any situation since it provides the best of both worlds. If we’re going on a quick weekend trip together, this is the bag we’ll share (ha, that way he can do all of the heavy lifting!) since it packs easily and fits a lot in it.
That’s really ALL that you pack?
Yes and no. When we travel, we put everything in one carry-on, but we do each pack another bag inside. I use my Keen purse during the day as it has just enough room for everything from a water bottle to a light sweater, without lugging around a big backpack. This has great pockets for a variety of items to be tucked away safely. I use it in every day life, so it doesn’t feel too out of place for me to use during the day wherever I’m traveling to. While it has somewhat of a structure, I use all of those pockets for things like my travel documents, snacks, and music I want to easily access while on the plane/train/bus. I pack it on top so I can quickly remove it from my backpack while that is stored in the overhead bin.
He packs a Hikpro Daypackfor anything he needs, from the camera to a rain jacket. The beauty of the Hikpro bag is that it really does fold up to sandwich size bag, so it’s easy to fit in the bigger bag until he needs it. Despite it’s portability, it has strong straps and a respectable size once it’s open…that way he doesn’t feel like he’s wearing a kid’s backpack or something when he does use it. By bringing these bags, we can leave our bigger bags at the hostel, hotel or couchsurfer’s house (and lock ’em up if we feel the need).
Ta-da! Once you have the right tools, it really can be simple to pack light. Admittedly, some of these bags were expensive, but when you think about the fact that we never pay a baggage fee (ever), it quickly pays for itself. Not to mention, the peace of mind of always knowing where your bag is and the lack of extra useless stuff to lug around on your journey.
Affiliate links were used above, which does provide me a small commission if you use them. All of these items were heavily researched and were purchased completely with our own money. In a few instances above I bought an item years ago, so the link goes to the version available.
Five sweet, short, long, hard, crazy, wonderful years, and here we are.
We’re different than when we first met. Our goals have the same roots but have grown and changed just as we have. Our quirks and personalities, while still uniquely ours, have shifted over time. We’ve experienced pain and loss, just as we’ve experienced joy and grace.
I can’t say that life together has been everything we planned or expected. There’s no way we could imagine how we’d grow and change over time. We’ve taken on some incredible adventures and challenges I never would have dreamed we’d face. It is impossible to sum up all of the emotions and fun we have had. I cannot pretend it’s all been easy, but I also know it’s been more than worth it.
Five years ago we were two kids in love. Today, we’re still two kids in love, but somehow in an entirely different way.
