life

Count it

Samantha Gratton

Let’s take a little inventory on life right now. Because frankly, sometimes all at once I am wrapped up in the complete absurdity of it all. This is a small snapshot of what I realize:

  • Three months ago today was our last day at work at our old jobs.
  • Three days later, we packed all of our things and drove halfway across the country.
  • Three weeks later (exactly three weeks from the day we moved), we moved again to our new home with job offers.
  • Three times our car has been towed for repairs.
  • Three different couples have hung out with us so far.
  • We’ve visited eight different churches (I couldn’t keep the three thing going any more).
  • The hubby’s gained seven pounds (finally).
  • The number of nights I’ve worked past eight is far too high.
  • Five skype tours have been given of our new digs.
  • I’ve gotten sick four times.
  • Nine craigslist deals have been made in North Carolina.
  • 95 blog posts about this move/adventure have been written to date.

A lot has happened in a very short time. It all went so fast. Before taking it all on I would have guessed we’d still be in someone else’s basement at this point. Now I’m wondering how we got here so quickly. As I sit on a newly acquired craigslist couch and look around my apartment I still can’t totally grasp that this is it. Is the adventure part done now that we’ve moved, found jobs and maybe even found a church? I don’t think so. But I can’t say it’s been the adventure I thought it would be.

I don’t feel I am articulating all of my thoughts very well right now, but in essence, this all happened before I realized. We slid into our new lives, it seemed, before I knew what was happening. Some of that has been great and some of it might need to be rearranged. Time will tell what stays and what goes in this new life of ours.

Quote: Quit

Samantha Gratton

Quit Stuff …to give yourself room to grow and to give God room to work. The patterns of life can weigh down and hold back. Quitting things forces you forward to explore new opportunities, to try new things you wouldn’t have time for otherwise and to fill your life with things that are fresh, different and dangerous.

Bob Goff in a recent article in Relevant Magazine

I can’t quite decide what to think about this. Goff apparently goes to extreme measures and quits something every Thursday—leases, jobs, furniture, board positions, volunteering. While that’s a bit too much for me, I think there’s some wisdom behind this idea. In a lot of ways, that’s what happened when we moved. Is it time to quit something already?

Go Big or Go Home

Samantha Gratton

Okay, sure. You’re motivating me to really go for it, right? Win that big game, challenge the cowardice. Reach beyond the minimum and shoot for the stars. Go big or go home.

You’ll hear me saying, “let’s do (this)…just to say we did!” as if someone is keeping track of the number of adventures I’ve had in my life. I love pushing for that extra experience. Love traveling. Love a decent challenge or brainstorm for an even better idea. I mean, we did just move halfway across the country without a whole lot pulling us here. I’d like to think that means we aren’t the safest players out there; we take risks. We’re living life.

That said, can I just pick “go home”, given the two choices?

Because what if killing yourself for a project isn’t worth it? What if being “successful” by certain standards means never seeing that house or family you’re supporting? Or losing hours of sleep each night to a point of poor health? What if “going big” amounts to a lonely personal life? What if the words have stopped flowing easily because you decided to go big instead of go home and your brain is no longer able to think creatively?

I don’t want to live a life of mediocrity, I assure you. But something is off in our society when people aren’t taking vacation time, lunch breaks or getting a good night’s sleep. We need rest and rejuvenation in our lives. It’s the only way we’ll ever really be able to take on something more. Go big or—really win this one and—GO HOME.

Autonomous

Samantha Gratton

With this move, we’ve had less people to lean on in certain regards, making it so much more apparent when we do ask for help. It’s embarrassing and awkward to reach out and say, “I barely know you, but I need you!”

But something I’ve realized is that in those moments, awkward and uncomfortable as they may be, we bond with people. We reach beyond our comfort level and into a level of trust, whether we want to or not. That’s where relationships are formed. That’s the same moment that we realize we can’t do it on our own.

Do I wish I could just go through my day without asking for help? YES! I want to be able to do it all and do it all now. I hate the feeling of discomfort and disadvantage as I ask yet again for help from a stranger. But how would I ever meet people or make friends or grow or learn?

I think it works that way with God sometimes, too. We need him all the time, but when we can’t do it on our own, it becomes incredibly more apparent that we are mere human beings. We can’t control our lives as much as we (I) want to. We can’t do it on our own. Because if we could, it’d be incredibly lonely and unfulfilling. The days we can get to work without a ride or find a restaurant without advice doesn’t connect us with the people around us. It’s incredibly important to our relationships to need people and to be needed. So when we say to God that “we don’t need him”, that’s not really a great way to build a relationship. (Also, it’s not true, but that’s a whole ‘nother thing). When we go about living our lives though without turning to him, trusting in him, asking for him and relying on him—isn’t that what we’re saying though? That we don’t need him?

For whatever reason, we think we want to be independent and autonomous, both with people and with God. It’s as if admitting that we aren’t able to do it all without help would mean we were weak. Or that needing some help makes us inadequate or unintelligent. But that simply isn’t true. Sure, sometimes it’s humbling and even awkward to ask for help, but living life without it is a far worse scenario. Life without people in it is void. Life without friends is lonely and overwhelming. Life without a God who loves you is lacking. It doesn’t make you stronger; it’s empty when it doesn’t have to be.

We Made It

Samantha Gratton

I am so tired, and sore, and exhausted that I am struggling to lift my fork to eat this crepe (you read that correctly – there’s a crepe place where I live! And I can eat them!). My little arms are screaming at me but my brain is racing. The past 24 hours have been insane. I think I’d like to take a week-long nap followed by a day-long shower.

But as of this moment, we have a home. We live somewhere. And we slept in our own bed last night for the first time in over three weeks.

We also have too much stuff.

Taking all of our worldly possessions down from the storage unit, out to the truck, down the ramp and sidewalk stairs and then finally up the flight of stairs to our new apartment has left us with this realization. We have too much stuff. We aren’t sure how or why or when we acquired all of these things, but the new way of life is “less is more” from here on out. That or, next time we move we’ll sell everything we own and then buy it all back over time. With each step we questioned the worth of the items we spent so much time, money and physical pain to keep. Over a thousand dollars to rent a truck and drive it halfway across the country (Penske is the way to go), another hundred for a climate controlled storage unit for a month, a couple hundred dollars in boxes/tape/rope/blankets (even with the donation of boxes from friends)…it all adds up. And for what? A life lesson learned the hard way. Less is more.

We did have a garage sale beforehand though and felt we got rid of things, which freed us up to make some purchases that we are so glad we acquired here instead of lugging across the country. Before loading up the truck, we snagged some major craigslist deals. We bought our first washer and dryer, a nice couch set, a bike rack and the hubby upgraded his bike for his new daily commute. We left a car back in Iowa to sell and will try and live on just one car for awhile.

Everything went so quickly, and overall, so smoothly. We’ve really been blessed by that and all we’ve been given. We had great friends help us pack the truck, wonderful relatives providing us with a “home base” (and friendship, meals and muscles too) and have been blessed by the kindness of strangers as we pick up these miscellaneous items and navigate around town. As we made a midnight run to Walmart last night for cleaning supplies and ice cream, we looked at each other and said, We did it. We made it. It certainly wasn’t done alone, but we did it together. We drove across the country, just us. We packed the bulk of our house and moved the bulk of our things and will inevitably unpack all of those things – just us. Hubby said last night that he felt like we were newlyweds all over again. Just figuring things out with a fresh start. Stuff or no stuff, the best thing we’ve had on this move was each other. Call me cheesy, but I’m pretty thankful for my husband and getting to do this thing together, with him. This thing called life.

Quote: Unthought knowns

Samantha Gratton

Unthought knowns are those things we know about ourselves but forget somehow. These are the dreams we have lost sight of or the truths we sense but don’t say out loud. We may be afraid of acknowledging the unthought known to other people because we are afraid of what they might think. Even more often, we fear what the unthought known will then mean for ourselves and our lives.

The Defining Decade by Meg Jay