Couch Surfers Welcome

“That’s not something I’d ever think you’d do—I put it one tier above hitchhiking.”  -someone after finding out we were hosting a couch surfer.

Before we got married, the hubby and I talked about what kind of qualities we wanted in our household. At the heart of it, we wanted a welcoming home. We wanted to be able to open it up without hesitation to those we loved, those in need and anyone else really. No matter what we had to offer, even if it was little, we wanted to be available to offer such a home. We strongly desire to love people which starts by being willing, open and transparent with others, regardless of their background or beliefs.

Sometimes though I get caught up in what the house “should” look like. My impulse reaction is to say “our house is too messy!” as soon as it’s suggested. Growing up, having someone over required hours of deep cleaning to make it adequately presentable, not because we lived in total disarray but because there was a certain image we were to uphold. As much as I try to escape that mentality, it still gets me sometimes. But the reality is, people live here. We have dirty dishes on the counter, an ongoing pile of laundry to fold and bills strewn about the kitchen table. Of course we want people to be comfortable and welcomed, but we also don’t want to be a slave to the upkeep of an image of perfection. We aren’t perfect people and don’t have an immaculate house. But that shouldn’t get in the way of sharing our homes with people, just as our personal flaws and imperfections shouldn’t stop us from sharing our lives with people.

A few weeks back, I mentioned we hosted our first official couch surfer. In all reality, we’d had couch surfing experiences before (on both sides of the couch) without an official membership. If you don’t know, it’s a website where you can post that you are either hosting or traveling in order to match people up for a free night’s stay in local homes all over the world. When we moved into this house, I knew I wanted to officially open the doors in that way and was so glad we did.

Ultimately, we learned more about someone else’s life and were able to be hospitable and give what we had. There was something awkward about not knowing what to say or do when someone you’d never met was staying in your house. But there was also something powerful about being mildly uncomfortable in order to show love and learn about someone else’s perspective and experiences.

Living the Dream

So now what? It’s been weeks since I’ve posted my Thursday Three and blogs are few and far between this month. Yet I have so many thoughts festering inside. Ideas and inspirations, pains and longings, goals and insights. But where to start?

I’m a fierce dreamer.

I mean this both in the literal and metaphorical sense. By night, I am running from science, secrets and gun shots but by day I am thinking of all I want to do and accomplish. The past week I’ve had so many harsh dreams (or nightmares) that it makes me wonder why. Why do I have such vivid and crazy dreams, so much so that they alter my days and throw me in such a deep daytime trance? What adult has nightmares several nights in a row or dreams that stick for years and still ache to remember? Does anyone else have dreams this intense and frequent? Is this just the way it is and something that will always happen? Or does it indicate something else?

During the day, I am constantly looking for what’s next. What great feat can we accomplish? If we plan to do XYZ by X date, then that will still leave time and money for something more. I daydream about what life will look like if I pursue certain passions. What it would be like to say that I’m published or what kind of mom I might one day make. Where I want to go and who I can help. I’m constantly pushing myself and even some around me to do things, maybe to a fault. While my intentions may be good (growth, experience, interest, knowledge, accomplishment) it can be a dangerous trait. It can mean I never follow through or rather, that I am so focused on achieving said dream that I overlook the costs and sacrifices required by myself or others. As we near the end of the year and I consider some of the resolutions/goals I set for 2013, I’m reminded of this. Some of these happened and in the right way, some became less important and still some frustrate me so since they are nowhere near what I had hoped.

You know what? I’d rather be a dreamer than live a stagnant life. At night my dreams are interesting, exhilarating and exhausting. By day, I’ve learned and experienced things I might never have otherwise, and it gives me a purpose and a goal to work towards. But some dreams are easier to give up than others and in the end, you can’t keep them all. So while I’m a dreamer and will inevitably continue to be, I’m going to try and focus more on what those dreams mean. What they require, why they seem important, and what they say both about me and to me.

Thursday Three

Just three simple truths tonight.

1. Life is busy. It just is sometimes. This week and last week and the week before is that way. Our church is moving this week and life between home and church has way too many parallels right now. Boxes left and right, Ikea furniture on the brain and lots of miscellaneous details. But in the end, it will all somehow come together and is an exciting next step in our lives.

2. Friends are good. We’ve been blessed with some really good friends. Friends who listen and support us, close by and from farther away. A lot of times we have the same stories, struggles and jokes, but they still laugh and listen and care. Thanks, friends. You make an impact and also make the days better.

3. God is in control. About a year and a half ago when we were starting to seriously consider moving and had a few details on the table that we were trying to figure out, we were a total wreck. Neither of us were sleeping well and we were just little stressballs. On a day we knew a few big things were being decided, I put a little post-it up in the bathroom. My pen was weak and I ended up making a mess of it with a marker. It’s not the prettiest looking reminder,  but it was nothing but truth. I still have that note and it still applies in our life today. So although there are things I am stressing out about now, I know this to be true.

Whatever happens – it’s good. And from God. He has us taken care of.

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Thursday Three

A lot of people do the “Friday Fives” post on their blog. You know, write about five things that are happening and maybe throw in some energetic photos from the week. I love reading those and seeing those smiling faces, but it’s just not me. Because you know what? On Fridays, I’m just happy to have made it to the weekend and would rather sip a Bellini or margarita at the end of the day with no more obligations, if even for a few hours. Solution: Thursday Three. The perfect time to give a little update with a few less items to list off. It even has some alliteration (th + th) and that’s when you know you’ve officially made it as a writer. So here it goes—

1. My leg still hurts. I know, with all the pressure of this first listing on the very first ever Thursday Three, number one fell a little short. But that’s the truth. If you weren’t aware, I tore my calf almost three weeks ago. One week ago they gave me a sweet boot to match my crutches. The accessories are just amazing. There has been some progress though and physical therapy seems to be helping quite a bit. Quote of the month, “Maybe you can find a project on pinterest to do something with these crutches when you are done using them.” -Hubby.

2. Hole-in-the-walls have the best pie. But for real. Maybe I’ll get better at grabbing a photo next time, but let me just say that black bottom pecan pie in the south does not disappoint. The hubby and I had an impromptu date night on Tuesday to discuss some upcoming life decisions (details to follow) and ended up at a new favorite called Side Street Cafe. They have some sort of charm and a ridiculously long and spectacular list of sandwiches.

3. We really love Raleigh. There’s a lot of new discovery each month as we get more acquainted with our surroundings and every once in a while, we look at each other and comment on how glad we are to have moved here. New restaurants, new concert spots, new neighborhoods, new routines. As of yet, it seems we will be here for awhile and we’re really excited about it. That said, Des Moines will always have a piece of my heart, so I am excited to be headed back for a visit next month!

Pick me, pick me!

Life feels a bit like 5th grade P.E. at the moment. Remember standing against the wall waiting to pick teams for dodge ball? The teacher would appoint two captains, and you waited (and silently screamed) to be picked for your team of choice. While Ashley might be your BFF of the week, John was your crush of the week and inevitably, better at dodge ball…so the choice was clear. That is, until they started calling off names.

KAYLA!
CHASE!
STEPHEN!
MATT!

Oh my! How am I supposed to choose now? Stephen and John are best friends, the cutest boys in the class AND they’re on opposing teams? Ohh, I’m not sure i want to be on the same team as Chase. Maybe I should be on Ashley’s team instead. Well, would I rather win or have more fun? Hmm.

LEONNA! Ugh. Sooo slow.
PAIGE! Dang, they picked her before me?

Suddenly the entire game was different. I’d stand there and fret over which was the better option until my name was called….as if my weighing out the options made any difference. Just like life.

THIS JOB!
THAT JOB!
SCHOOL!
LIVE THERE!

What?? Same place, different job? Different place, same people? Mixing business with pleasure? School now or later? Same school, different program? The options keep changing, and I don’t even know what team to jump on! But let’s face it. Analyzing and over analyzing all of the various scenarios won’t make much of a difference. Ultimately, I don’t get to pick my team. I’m chosen for it.