There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.
written by J.R.R. Tolkien in The Hobbit
Author: Samantha Gratton
Photo: DC
D.C. did not disappoint.
Dreams from the Past
Going through old emails yesterday, I ran across one written to a friend a little over two years ago telling her my hopes and dreams. At the time I think I wrote it mostly on a whim about the things that first came to mind. When I realized then how accurate it was, I forwarded it to the hubby and apparently sent it to myself as a reminder. Now, many of those still ring true. I can’t say that we’ll do all of these things, but it seems to fall in line with what I mentioned as heart stirs a few months ago. It reminds me how important it is to dream and inspires me to keep striving for these.
Live in another country for a year, visit South America, move out of the Midwest, be a good mom (LATER), be a great wife, visit the gum wall… among traveling the country and hitting up a few other places (list of places to visit/revisit in the next five years: Seattle, Boston, D.C.,… that’s all I can think of right now), run a successful freelance studio, play a show at a coffee shop (playing my songs), see the hubby finally pull his own band together, be foster parents, work at a non-profit I believe in and give God my whole heart.
(p.s. We leave for D.C. today…didn’t even realize I had put it on the list a few years ago)
Song: Wait
“Feel I’m on the verge of some great truth. Where I’m finally in my place but I’m fumbling still for proof and it’s cluttering my space”
Wait by Alexi Murdoch
Quote: Twenties
Because our twenties are the capstone of this last critical period, they are, as one neurologist said, a time of “great risk and great opportunity.” … Never again will we be so quick to learn new things. Never again will it be so easy to become the people we hope to be. The risk is that we may not act now.
The Defining Decade by Meg Jay
Count it
Let’s take a little inventory on life right now. Because frankly, sometimes all at once I am wrapped up in the complete absurdity of it all. This is a small snapshot of what I realize:
- Three months ago today was our last day at work at our old jobs.
- Three days later, we packed all of our things and drove halfway across the country.
- Three weeks later (exactly three weeks from the day we moved), we moved again to our new home with job offers.
- Three times our car has been towed for repairs.
- Three different couples have hung out with us so far.
- We’ve visited eight different churches (I couldn’t keep the three thing going any more).
- The hubby’s gained seven pounds (finally).
- The number of nights I’ve worked past eight is far too high.
- Five skype tours have been given of our new digs.
- I’ve gotten sick four times.
- Nine craigslist deals have been made in North Carolina.
- 95 blog posts about this move/adventure have been written to date.
A lot has happened in a very short time. It all went so fast. Before taking it all on I would have guessed we’d still be in someone else’s basement at this point. Now I’m wondering how we got here so quickly. As I sit on a newly acquired craigslist couch and look around my apartment I still can’t totally grasp that this is it. Is the adventure part done now that we’ve moved, found jobs and maybe even found a church? I don’t think so. But I can’t say it’s been the adventure I thought it would be.
I don’t feel I am articulating all of my thoughts very well right now, but in essence, this all happened before I realized. We slid into our new lives, it seemed, before I knew what was happening. Some of that has been great and some of it might need to be rearranged. Time will tell what stays and what goes in this new life of ours.
Quote: Quit
Quit Stuff …to give yourself room to grow and to give God room to work. The patterns of life can weigh down and hold back. Quitting things forces you forward to explore new opportunities, to try new things you wouldn’t have time for otherwise and to fill your life with things that are fresh, different and dangerous.
Bob Goff in a recent article in Relevant Magazine
I can’t quite decide what to think about this. Goff apparently goes to extreme measures and quits something every Thursday—leases, jobs, furniture, board positions, volunteering. While that’s a bit too much for me, I think there’s some wisdom behind this idea. In a lot of ways, that’s what happened when we moved. Is it time to quit something already?
Go Big or Go Home
Okay, sure. You’re motivating me to really go for it, right? Win that big game, challenge the cowardice. Reach beyond the minimum and shoot for the stars. Go big or go home.
You’ll hear me saying, “let’s do (this)…just to say we did!” as if someone is keeping track of the number of adventures I’ve had in my life. I love pushing for that extra experience. Love traveling. Love a decent challenge or brainstorm for an even better idea. I mean, we did just move halfway across the country without a whole lot pulling us here. I’d like to think that means we aren’t the safest players out there; we take risks. We’re living life.
That said, can I just pick “go home”, given the two choices?
Because what if killing yourself for a project isn’t worth it? What if being “successful” by certain standards means never seeing that house or family you’re supporting? Or losing hours of sleep each night to a point of poor health? What if “going big” amounts to a lonely personal life? What if the words have stopped flowing easily because you decided to go big instead of go home and your brain is no longer able to think creatively?
I don’t want to live a life of mediocrity, I assure you. But something is off in our society when people aren’t taking vacation time, lunch breaks or getting a good night’s sleep. We need rest and rejuvenation in our lives. It’s the only way we’ll ever really be able to take on something more. Go big or—really win this one and—GO HOME.
Song: Life is Wonderful
“It takes the one to have the other.”
Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz.
Okay. Remember. Life is good. Wonderful. Got it. Remind me again? Wonderful. Right. Crazy days at work make it hard to see much more than the computer screen in front of your face, but this is one of the songs today to get me through.
Love What You Do
I thoroughly enjoy blogging. This predilection takes me out of my head sometimes and just allows the thoughts to fall out. I like the idea that people then read it and maybe come to similar conclusions as I did or feel inspired and excited by whatever it is I just wrote. There’s a certain thrill and excitement that comes when an idea first sparks, and I know I’ll be able to chase it down and discover where it leads. It is something that makes me feel truly alive, and it motivates me to do things I never would have imagined.
The hubby finds a similar joy with music. He writes and plays and records all sorts of ideas. Some days I’ll come home and find him so immersed in his music that I’ll walk in, make dinner and settle in, and he won’t even know I’m home. Or that he’s hungry. It’s the type of thrill and excitement that comes from doing what you love. Something inside of you comes alive that can’t be explained or duplicated elsewhere.
Often people will say, “Do what you love.” There’s definitely some truth to that, but I don’t think it should be the ultimate career goal. I believe your job should incorporate or have some overlap with what you love, but to keep some of your work separate from what you love doing. For instance, if I took my love of blogging and made it my job, it would be a completely different blog. First of all, I’d need to have ads, something I can’t promise won’t ever happen, but not something I’m interested in doing right now. This blog is a safe space for me to say what I think and comment on what’s happening, not a place for me to plug random products I receive in the mail. (Bloggers of the world: If you do this, it’s okay! Just not something I’m ready for.) Past that, in order for me to make this blog my job, I’d need to do a whole lot more self-promo. And probably upgrade from a tumblr and hire a web designer to make me look legit. I’d also need to blog consistently and regularly. This is not a bad thing, but I do think it would take out the spontaneity and raw perspective that this holds now. Instead of being naturally prolific, there would be a certain pressure to write something good every time and something that my readers want to read.
Now, if all I want to do is blog what I think but suddenly I’m doing all of that too, is it still something I love? I can’t say I know for sure, but I’ve had blogs in the past that were more closely followed, and they fizzled out. I wasn’t able to be as true to who I was. It became a blog for somebody else and not for me. I think the same concept can be applied for many people and what they love, whether it’s art or music or crafts or cooking or sports or something else completely. When your creative outlet becomes what you depend on for groceries/rent, it changes. It’s not all bad, but still very different. For me, in lieu of “do what you love” I’ve decided to “love what I do.” By that I mean, I am going to enjoy this act of blogging for what it is, how it is. I love it enough as it is that it isn’t worth it to change it right now into something I don’t love as much. I’ll do other things that I’m good at and enjoy in my career but keep what I love separate so I can continue to love it.