excitement

I thoroughly enjoy blogging. This predilection takes me out of my head sometimes and just allows the thoughts to fall out. I like the idea that people then read it and maybe come to similar conclusions as I did or feel inspired and excited by whatever it is I just wrote. There’s a certain thrill and excitement that comes when an idea first sparks, and I know I’ll be able to chase it down and discover where it leads. It is something that makes me feel truly alive, and it motivates me to do things I never would have imagined.

The hubby finds a similar joy with music. He writes and plays and records all sorts of ideas. Some days I’ll come home and find him so immersed in his music that I’ll walk in, make dinner and settle in, and he won’t even know I’m home. Or that he’s hungry. It’s the type of thrill and excitement that comes from doing what you love. Something inside of you comes alive that can’t be explained or duplicated elsewhere.

Often people will say, “Do what you love.” There’s definitely some truth to that, but I don’t think it should be the ultimate career goal. I believe your job should incorporate or have some overlap with what you love, but to keep some of your work separate from what you love doing. For instance, if I took my love of blogging and made it my job, it would be a completely different blog. First of all, I’d need to have ads, something I can’t promise won’t ever happen, but not something I’m interested in doing right now. This blog is a safe space for me to say what I think and comment on what’s happening, not a place for me to plug random products I receive in the mail. (Bloggers of the world: If you do this, it’s okay! Just not something I’m ready for.) Past that, in order for me to make this blog my job, I’d need to do a whole lot more self-promo. And probably upgrade from a tumblr and hire a web designer to make me look legit. I’d also need to blog consistently and regularly. This is not a bad thing, but I do think it would take out the spontaneity and raw perspective that this holds now. Instead of being naturally prolific, there would be a certain pressure to write something good every time and something that my readers want to read.

Now, if all I want to do is blog what I think but suddenly I’m doing all of that too, is it still something I love? I can’t say I know for sure, but I’ve had blogs in the past that were more closely followed, and they fizzled out. I wasn’t able to be as true to who I was. It became a blog for somebody else and not for me. I think the same concept can be applied for many people and what they love, whether it’s art or music or crafts or cooking or sports or something else completely. When your creative outlet becomes what you depend on for groceries/rent, it changes. It’s not all bad, but still very different. For me, in lieu of “do what you love” I’ve decided to “love what I do.” By that I mean, I am going to enjoy this act of blogging for what it is, how it is. I love it enough as it is that it isn’t worth it to change it right now into something I don’t love as much. I’ll do other things that I’m good at and enjoy in my career but keep what I love separate so I can continue to love it.