Making it “Official”

Making it “Official”

In case you didn’t notice, we live in the times of the internet. We have a lot of information right at our fingertips and hardly even know what a day without instant access to all our social media sources is like.

News comes from posts and photos as people share the prominent or pretty parts of their lives with the rest of the “network”…because that’s just what we do. To avoid posting something requires almost a special request or reason to not include it online. Just like that, so much of our lives are shared and revealed to the masses.

I write and say random tidbits about my days, so I’m hardly any different. But I also try to think long and hard about what it is I’m saying and why. Do I share because I feel compelled to do so? Or because it would be useful to know? Or because I just had a really great hair day? So many thoughts and decisions on what’s best, especially in the past few months, have caused me to step back and withdraw from social media and even blogging for a bit. The problem is, eventually people think you’re hiding. And then you question what it is you’re hiding from and why? If you don’t share it online, are you embarrassed or overly secretive or just overthinking it?

This. This has been my constant cycle of thoughts recently as, quite frankly, we’ve found ourselves with some BIG news. News that can’t be summed up in one description or emoji. Unlike what our social media networks and text-based conversations would suggest, we can’t relate on the same level with people as we can face-to-face or in a one-on-one conversation. Simply giving something a heart or a star or a thumbs up doesn’t sit well with me anymore. I want to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Blasting a bit of news doesn’t allow me to do those things quite the way I’d like to.

But social media forces us share in abrupt snippets. Even if we don’t, eventually someone will leak the info online or a photo will surface, and we can’t “hide” from the news–be it good or bad. Let’s be honest, I don’t think most news is quite so simple as only good or bad. Sometimes there’s excitement and panic and confusion and pain and joy and whatever you had for lunch today mixed in all at once.

Our big news? We’re expecting. We’ve actually been expecting for several months now. Expecting to have a baby and become parents and find out just how much that completely changes our lives.

But you? I don’t know what’s going on with you or how you feel about that. Maybe you’re thrilled. Maybe that news hurts to hear. Maybe you wish it was you. Maybe you’re glad it’s not. Maybe you’re wondering why the heck it took so long for me to say something. Maybe you really don’t care. Whatever it is, I don’t get to experience what you’re experiencing on the other side of the screen here. Perhaps that’s for the best, but I feel I’d be remiss to ignore that my news causes something for you, too. To be honest, it causes more than one simple emotion for me as well.

We don’t know what we’re doing or where life will take us from here, but we’re expectant. Expecting that we’ll somehow figure it out together and also lean on trusted people around us. Expecting to be challenged in new ways and to learn a few things the hard way, no matter how much we try to best prepare. Expecting to walk alongside friends who are in the same stage of life as well as with those who aren’t. Expecting to make sacrifices and expecting to find new sources of joy and inspiration.

S+S on the steps-4952




Say It

To a certain extent, I feel as though we’ve officially told the world. This isn’t really true, however, as most staff at the hubby’s workplace have yet to hear due to the mid-week holiday and scheduling last week. It’s good to feel like we can finally be open and honest though about what we’re doing and where we’re headed. We’ve received mixed reviews, but overall quite positive feedback. Excitement. Sadness. Encouragement. Jealousy. Disbelief. Shock.

It’s good to feel like people are behind us. What is most interesting to me is hearing the response. Not the response merely about our immediate plans, but about us. Sometimes what’s said about who we are or what we’ve meant to the people around us is surprising. I appreciate it being said and am often flattered by it. What’s crazy to consider is that these things may not have been said otherwise. No one’s to blame for this and better late than never, but strange just the same. I’m probably equally guilty of this at times but want to reconsider this trend.

It may sound cliche, but why not tell people what they mean to you? What are they good at? What do you appreciate? What makes them important? What will you miss (even if they aren’t going anywhere)? What impact have they had on your life? Why do you enjoy their company?

I can’t say whether or not knowing all of these things six months ago would have changed the plan for us, but it might have changed a bit of our outlook. Life can have its struggles here and there and for awhile we wondered if we had any friends in this town. If we were appreciated at work. If we would be missed.

My hope is to remember this moving forward. Say these things. Show people you care before they have to wonder. See what changes. I yearn for a life of truth and honesty and even some vulnerability. Let’s be real now.