What I Write and What I Want

On the Horizon
It’s been a few weeks, and I’m still not sure how to pick up where I left off. A lot has happened and is happening. A few difficult yet vaguely described months this past fall/winter were followed by some resolve, some redirection, and some utter ridiculousness. In all of that, I question what it is I most want to say.

I have talked a few times about how much I appreciate writing and have been grateful that this blog has been a place for that. It’s been a way to update people, to share my thoughts, and to think through the different things going on in our lives. But it is also a place people come to read those things, which is something I consider very carefully. A handful of people have told me that they read my blog, which is always a flattering compliment, so I have a limited notion of my audience. There are also many people I’ve never met and know nothing about.

To me, the listeners/readers are often just as important as the message. This isn’t a journal, so if I don’t consider my audience, I do a disservice to us both. Lately, with a lot of transition and life going on, I’ve been considering even more carefully what it is that I’m saying and how my words are portrayed to those who are watching and reading. There are times filled with great news or success that I want to shout about and times when I just love the little details in life and want to share them. There are moments of frustration I want to lash out in passive aggression and moments of hurt or fear that I want to describe and sort through.

But the question becomes, what is my purpose? What is it I most want to do through my life and likewise, my writing?

Do I want to have a big platform? Do I want lots of likes and attention? Do I want to promote or sell something? Do I want to woo or impress? Do I want to simply have a creative outlet or a modern-day scrapbook?

Ultimately, none of those are my purpose, and in realizing this, I’ve stepped back. I’ve considered each word and each post and the impact it has. In this time of contemplation I have yet to figure out where to go from here and what I most want to say. But I know I want to keep writing. I want to connect with people. I want to write in a way that encourages, inspires, and relates.

Not only is this my favorite type of writing, but this is the type of writing I most love to read. I have learned and grown so much from reading what others write as they face challenges, celebrate victories, find their faith, and pursue their purpose. Not only that, but these are the lives that carry the greatest impact. Some people have strong voices or get loads of attention, but I’m not after the megaphone moments or a picture perfect type of lifestyle.

I want true authenticity and real relationships; loud joy and quiet success; wisdom over wealth; words filled with grace and also with thanks, and through it all, no matter what, I want to have faith, hope, and love


Everything is interim. Everything is a path or a preparation for the next thing, and we never know what the next thing is. Life is like that, of course, twisty and surprising.
– Shauna Niequist in Cold Tangerines

Often we hold onto this idea of stability and longevity. We (or maybe it’s just me) like making a plan. What’s the three-year, five-year and ten-year plan? As if we have any real control over it.


Don’t misunderstand, I think goals and dreams are wonderful things to have. But sometimes we clutch onto them so fiercely. When something goes awry or changes the course, we get flustered. We react in fear or fight. We cry out in the night and wonder what went wrong. The plan, the perfect plan, is no more.


But everything is interim. There is no such thing as stability or control. Whatever it is, it may be for the next few days or the next few years. My life seems like it is in total interim right now, and I can’t say that I always love that feeling. Sometimes I want to know every detail and then plan minute-by-minute what’s next but that is just not how life goes. We’re instead being challenged and tested in order to be best prepared for what is to come.


Embrace the interim. Because there is a God who has all the plans. We just have to trust in Him.


This week I am co-hosting a link-up with Susannah from Simple Moments Stick. Please check out her blog when you get the chance and feel free to link-up your post about faith and fellowship!

Faith and Fellowship Blog Hop