In This Season

In This Season

The past several weeks and months have been just a bit too much. Too much good, too much bad, too much work, and too much to think about all at once. In all of that I’ve tried to be present where I am, doing what most seems to need my time and attention.

I’ve read books and listened to podcasts about how to balance “doing it all” and at the end of the day, I think these people want to tell you the answers, but don’t actually have it figured out. As soon as you seem to strike a balance, something in life changes so your schedule and coping mechanisms all need to readjust to fit everything in once more.

I subscribe more to the notion of seasons. There’s a season for hustle and a season for rest. A season for uncertainty and a season for stability. A season for laughter and a season for tears. The length and order of these seasons may change or go against your plans, but I just don’t believe you can do it all all the time. Unfortunately, in this past season or two, blogging just didn’t take priority. While I’ve missed writing here, I don’t regret that decision.

My writing has taken on other forms lately. My days are actually filled with it, be it at the North State Journal where I work as a writer and copy editor or with my various freelance clients who I continue to work with each week. My life has certainly not been void of writing in my absence from this blog.

I have continued to wrestle with what this blog should say and how to say it. There has been a significant amount of transition and change in our lives in the past year and as a result, I’ve wanted to keep most of these thoughts and feelings private from the likes of social media and an unknown audience. Yet, I want to continue to be here, to write in a way that inspires or relates.

So here’s my wave hello saying that I’m still here and will continue to come back. I’ll bring more of an update in time and continue to write so I can share it with you.

 

I Don’t Want Ellen to be my Best Friend

I Don’t Want Ellen to be my Best Friend

Ellen Show

I’m also not interested in forming friendships with Liz Lemon, Leslie Knope, Tami Taylor, Mindy Lahiri, Ross and Rachel, Jimmy Fallon or anyone else on TV.

Why not?! 

They all seem like great people. They make me laugh or smile, and I get to see some of them fairly often. But guess what?

I can’t have a conversation with any of them. We’ve never taken a walk or gone out to dinner. I don’t know what happened during their week, much less know their phone number. We won’t ever go play tennis, dance around to my favorite music or walk the aisles of Target–just because.

None of those people will ever even know my name. Yet they’ve been invited into my home on a regular basis.

What makes me most sad is that these relationships with TV stars or fictional characters have sometimes taken the place of actual friendships and real relationships in our lives. Real friendships are messy and take commitment. Maybe it means leaving the house or planning ahead. Or being vulnerable and real…and you need to have a friend who will let you be that. It’s probably saying, “I care about you.” “Let’s hang out.” “How can I brighten your day?” and sometimes even, “I’m sorry.”

I most certainly watch TV. This is not one of those “throw your TVs out the window” posts declaring all television and entertainment evil. Ellen Degeneres is probably super great in real life. But I’ll never know. 

You know who I do have the chance to get to know? The people I interact with; the ones I see every week. From my neighbors to my co-workers, friends across town to friends and family across the country, those are the people in my life that I want good relationships with. I want to know their quirks and jokes, hear their stories and cheer them on as they pursue their goals.

Watch television, that’s fine, whatever. But make sure the biggest relationships in your life are with the people around you, the ones that can actually have a relationship with you, too.

Being Enough

Being Enough

Being Enough | Moving Peaces

Not enough.

How often do we hear that phrase and don’t even realize it? Or worse, how often do we say that to someone else?

Not enough experience or not enough enthusiasm. Not enough knowledge or not enough confidence. Not enough wisdom or not enough motivation. Not enough practice or not enough raw talent. Not enough.

All day long we hear that in some form or another from society–from our job applications, from our teachers, from our bosses, from our family and even from our friends. You’re not enough…this.

When we feel like we are not enough we seek more. We try to do, be and possess MORE. A never ending chase results in us grasping for more so we can finally feel enough. Over time it leaves us feeling worn down and exhausted. We can’t keep up with the rate that more requires, which in turn leads us to feeling once again, not enough. Not enough time, not enough strength, not enough stamina.

But wait a minute. Listen.

How often are we actually told we are not enough compared to how often we reinforce it and decide to believe it? Is it truth? Further, is it even what is being said? Or do we assign ourselves this label of not enough before we hear what we’re being told? When we allow this battle of not being enough to win, we always lose. If you want to play that game, there will always be something in our lives that feels like not enough.

So stop allowing not enough to dictate who you are.

You are enough. Right now. In this very moment. You are complete. Rest in that.

__________________________________________________________

If you need to hear more truth, this is where to find it:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.” -Psalm 139:14

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” – Ecclesiastes 4:4

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

 

31 Days: Finding Self | Moving Peaces

This post is a part of the Finding Self series for the 31 Days of blogging in October.
To see the all posts in this series, check out the Finding Self page.

This Week’s Three

So, I missed Thursday by a few dozen hours. Whoops, sorry. But figured I would go ahead and blog the week anyway as it’s been full and good and a little unexpected.

1. Some days there are no words for everything you are feeling. There can be joy and sorrow, happiness and hesitation, disappointment and relief, defeat and hope all at the same time. This week has had a few things like that. They sit mostly on the “good” side but are still taking a while to get our minds wrapped around them all.

2. Nothing says “summer” like a road trip. In the past week we took two semi-impromptu trips and both included a good amount of rain. We saw friends by the beach and family near the mountains, each for a couple days. While brief, it was much needed and quite enjoyed. Trips like these are a huge part of what makes me excited and inspired. The hubby and I recently had a discussion however where he made note of the distinction between a “trip” and a “vacation” (to me they are usually the same thing. To him, a vacation includes almost no agenda and clearing of your head–preferably in a cabin in the woods. I see a vacation as going somewhere and trying new things and gaining new experiences. Honestly, when it comes down to it, I couldn’t care less what you call it, but I’m glad to understand what the difference is for him. Knowing things like this as a couple helps to better communicate expectations and goals when we take time off to go somewhere.

While in Asheville, we checked out Moog--where all sorts of electronic instruments are made
While in Asheville, we checked out Moog, which is where all sorts of electronic instruments are made

3. A season of change is upon us. I wrote a little last week about beginning again and I keep being reminded every day how much we are about to enter into something new even without knowing what it is. We have some friends moving this direction, new opportunities, new challenges and new direction in what we want in life. When life gets stuck in a stagnant stage I seem to grow impatient quickly, yet when there’s time for constant growth and change I can get overwhelmed or panic. One day at a time though, so I’ll be sure to keep you posted once more is known.

Couch Surfers Welcome

“That’s not something I’d ever think you’d do—I put it one tier above hitchhiking.”  -someone after finding out we were hosting a couch surfer.

Before we got married, the hubby and I talked about what kind of qualities we wanted in our household. At the heart of it, we wanted a welcoming home. We wanted to be able to open it up without hesitation to those we loved, those in need and anyone else really. No matter what we had to offer, even if it was little, we wanted to be available to offer such a home. We strongly desire to love people which starts by being willing, open and transparent with others, regardless of their background or beliefs.

Sometimes though I get caught up in what the house “should” look like. My impulse reaction is to say “our house is too messy!” as soon as it’s suggested. Growing up, having someone over required hours of deep cleaning to make it adequately presentable, not because we lived in total disarray but because there was a certain image we were to uphold. As much as I try to escape that mentality, it still gets me sometimes. But the reality is, people live here. We have dirty dishes on the counter, an ongoing pile of laundry to fold and bills strewn about the kitchen table. Of course we want people to be comfortable and welcomed, but we also don’t want to be a slave to the upkeep of an image of perfection. We aren’t perfect people and don’t have an immaculate house. But that shouldn’t get in the way of sharing our homes with people, just as our personal flaws and imperfections shouldn’t stop us from sharing our lives with people.

A few weeks back, I mentioned we hosted our first official couch surfer. In all reality, we’d had couch surfing experiences before (on both sides of the couch) without an official membership. If you don’t know, it’s a website where you can post that you are either hosting or traveling in order to match people up for a free night’s stay in local homes all over the world. When we moved into this house, I knew I wanted to officially open the doors in that way and was so glad we did.

Ultimately, we learned more about someone else’s life and were able to be hospitable and give what we had. There was something awkward about not knowing what to say or do when someone you’d never met was staying in your house. But there was also something powerful about being mildly uncomfortable in order to show love and learn about someone else’s perspective and experiences.

Nitty Gritty

Sometimes you’ve got to cut to the core. Go straight to the heart of an issue. Real relationships can’t be sustained on surface level weekend updates or meaningless buzzfeed articles passed from one to another. Those things are fine and good, but it’s not really real.

We all have life going on. Sometimes we go through seasons of pain and hardships as humans. Sometimes we have a lighter load. Either way, we need to be ready to go deeper.

Make it the right time, right place and right person, but you have to go there. You need to be willing to listen and support. Equally so, you need be ready to return the transparency. This doesn’t mean a social media unload where all of your friends can comment in panic. It’s a heart-to-heart with a friend who cares. Someone who’s willing to stand by you and help however they can. Find that friend. Be that friend. Live out that friendship. Let’s get real. Even if it’s hard.

Maybe I Panic

Every once in a while, the doubt creeps in and I look around and think, what have we done? I second guess myself. I worry but call it “wonder” about the future. What jobs we’ll have. Where we’ll live. If we can afford a house. If we can have kids. What kind of pain or challenges we’ll face. And before I know it, I’m already anxious about things that haven’t even happened. Mourning losses and giving up hope for things that are not in the near future.

Why do I do that? What purpose does it serve?

I don’t know. I just don’t know what all of that will look like. And all I can do is take a deep breath, hope and pray.