Thursday Three

You know what I find really annoying on blogs? When almost every post starts with the writer talking about how much they’ve neglected posting as often as they would like to and promise to get back in the swing of things soon. It distracts from the actual content of the post itself and frankly just gets old to read. Soo…I won’t do that to you. I know, isn’t that so sweet of me? I’ll just, uh, leave the meaning of this paragraph up to your own interpretation.

1. It’s what time of year? Every time I see something Christmas-y online or someone mentions Christmas, it seems like it must be a long way off or a long time ago. When it’s 70 degrees outside (seriously, my windows are open), it’s hard to imagine Christmas being a mere week away. I’m not sure if it is the weather or the blur of events this past year, but it all seems strange and out of place. Or maybe it’s just this guy who insisted we get a photo during dinner.

Santa | Moving Peaces

2. Do you ever have a practically perfect day? Because for me, Saturday came pretty close. At the last minute someone unexpectedly offered to cover for me at work and suddenly the day was wide open. It was the perfect mix of rest and recreation. After a slow morning, we went on a ten-mile bike ride, then went straight to rock climbing for an hour, and then came home to get ready for a night on the town with some dear friends for dinner, dessert, and a show. I enjoyed every element of a day well-spent.

3. Do you know what the best part about a trip is? Planning it. I think it is safe to say that I love to travel, but maybe if we get to the root of it, I really love to plan and dream. Studies show that the anticipation of a trip gives a big boost in happiness. Well, this year’s Christmas presents from family (yeah, I know it’s early, but they couldn’t keep it a secret) happen to include a few trips so my planning mode is in full effect.

White Flag

Oh hey…hey there! Yes, hi. See this? That’s the flag. The white flag of defeat and surrender. I’m out. Not really interested in doing this thing anymore. This thing where I don’t know what’s happening in my life and am emotionally a little bit drained.

So, can it be over?

My life’s not the worst. I’m not asking for a pity party. I actually feel bad even admitting to the struggle it has been the past few weeks. I hate the idea of sounding whiny or unhappy. I want to bask in the summer heat and sing songs while jumping for joy. I’ve got so much good in my life it makes me sick just thinking about being down about one part that’s not as great. I know it’s going to all be okay.

Ahem…can we just skip to that part?

I know I sound impatient here. But I also know my spirit is slowing breaking. That sounds all melodramatic right after I claim no need for a pity party. Forgive me. It seems like I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth because I don’t know how to describe how I feel. I love my life. I love my husband and my friends and my house and my family and my city. So how has this state of joblessness managed to squeak its way to the top of my thoughts? Or better yet, how can I get that sadness to go away? If this is where I have to be for right now in my life, then fine. But can we go back to the happy songs and rainbows? Because I think there’s enough good to warrant that. Really. Yet somehow on the inside I feel like I am crumbling.

Naively, I am hoping that by admitting this is hard, harder than I wish to let on, then I can move on and continue being happy for all the good going on. I figured I should start here instead of turning into a puddle of tears without warning. There, I said it, this is hard. I’m okay and life will go on, but in the meantime, I am having a hard time with it. I just am.