Disposable Society

Disposable Society

Disposable vs. Longlasting | Moving Peaces

We live in a world of disposable things. Styrofoam cups, paper plates, plastic bags–you’ll probably find at least one of these in every house in America. While there’s a long-term option, these offer a certain convenience. No need to protect them, no worry of damage, no obligation or responsibility.

Every so often we “upgrade” our phones to get a new one. The longevity of one of our most prized possessions is rarely longer than two years. We don’t attempt to fix or restore, just get another. Same thing goes for your TV, vacuum, camera, furniture, clothes and likely countless other items.

We see and experience a lot of transition. We move more often and are greater distances apart. We hold more jobs in the first five years of our career than our grandparents had their entire life. We have the technology at our fingertips to “connect” with anybody at anytime and more options than ever before with how to live our lives.

But how does this impact our relationships? Our friendships, our jobs and our communities? If almost everything in our lives is replaceable, when do we learn to value, respect and cherish what we have? How do we shift our disposable mindset to long-lasting, committed relationships?

Instead of disposable, committed relationships means both parties pledge to make it work and work things out. The kind of relationship that starts great, but when something goes awry, you stick with it anyway. You decide to struggle through and mend what was broken. (Band-aid fixes and shallow apologies are far from real repair.) There’s trust and grace and communication, but when those fail, you try again. You see the value in what was and what can be.

Sure, a fresh start seems easier and has a greater appeal than wading through the mess. Yes, there are times when moving on is natural or absolutely necessary. But more often, I think we get scared. We protect ourselves from heartache by never really committing in the first place. We give up when it gets hard or complicated. We avoid the tough conversations or the truth. We write off anyone that has ever hurt us. We walk away, find someone new and then do it all over again.

Often, we want the ease and comfort of relationships, but none of the work. In the end, we have more acquaintance-level relationships than we can count, but no one we trust to share our hopes and dreams, fears and failures. 

Commit to the work. Agree to the hard part. Struggle through the awkwardness. Reach out with the truth or an apology. Find the middle ground. Be willing to open up and also ask questions. Invest, mend and restore. Build relationships but don’t discard them. Make the effort. Don’t give up. 

The Job Front

I promised a part two to the never ending analogy of the interview process and the dating scene. The hubby said it got a little confusing to read, and he knew who all the key players were. The short of it is that I was interviewing at several places at once but one stole my heart and later broke it. In that state of brokenheartedness, I went on a resume rampage and sent it to more than a few places that looked interesting to me.

One in particular I actually cared about hearing back from, the rest was a bit of a blind email spree. You know what? I only heard back from that one. Within a week they said to stop by for an open house they were having. A few days later they had me in for an interview. The very next day, they offered me the job.

What the what? In some ways it felt so fast. I had been interviewing of course all along but never thought it would happen so soon after meeting them. It took me a few days to sort through it. I had a really difficult time figuring out how best to respond. I wanted so badly to make the right decision, the perfect decision. I took the job.

Yesterday was my first day. Although slow, it was a good day. Got signed up for all the accounts and email, read through some documents and played a few (losing) games of ping pong against the guys. I don’t know yet what all my job will look like. I have a feeling there will be good and bad in it, like all jobs. I have been so scared to be excited or to even tell a bunch of people. It’s not because I’m not excited, I think it has more to do with being scared of the unknown. I don’t want to feel like I failed once again if this isn’t the ultimate best job ever for me. I don’t love that fear. But, fear is always there in some way or another, we just have to figure out how to deal with it. I’m praying that this is good. And if it isn’t, I’m praying for the good that will still come from it. Regardless, I’m going to be excited for all that is good about it, like the fact that they have waffle Fridays and seem to genuinely care about each other. I think that’s the best decision I can make.

Quote: Unthought knowns

Unthought knowns are those things we know about ourselves but forget somehow. These are the dreams we have lost sight of or the truths we sense but don’t say out loud. We may be afraid of acknowledging the unthought known to other people because we are afraid of what they might think. Even more often, we fear what the unthought known will then mean for ourselves and our lives.

The Defining Decade by Meg Jay